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Why is it that some people are so insistent on having you add them to your friends list? It is often clear you have no intention of talking to them and they clearly have no intention of talking to you?

Is it just me or doesn't anyone else find this childish?

Don't know.
Maybe they think they will run for office sometime! :)

i suppose it really depends on the person(s). There's people on my buddy list that i talk to on a regular basis and others who i talk to when i'm logged on at the same time.

For me.....its easier for me with those who've I've gotten to know a way to msg them quicker and quicker access to their profiles to see updates or anything.

Those who are on my friends list are people who i have great respect for and have helped me out alot on this site since i've joined. I must say during the weekday I do chat w/ at list 5 or 6 on any given day while i'm logged on and they are logged on.

most ppl want top ranking on The Top ...thats all

Personally i try to chat with every 1 just have to try and get them when they are on or which ever so this way i get a responce from them but other then that if i have nothing to say to any 1 then so be it.

I clean out my friends list every so often because I don't like seeing someone who's online that I never speak with. People have petty competitions on this site. It drives them. Why, again, who knows? If someone is going to harass you about it, just block them. It's actually quite nice, I've realized.

Some say "Fell free to add me!"
I don't even know them.
If I want to add them, I'll ask.

I'll keep them on my list if we actually TALK to each other.

If I've interest, I'll let them know. If I don't.... it's obvious.

I help when I can, and do my best to let others know I've no real interst in them.

I generally add people that I plan on talking to. If I've taken the time to add someone, they've obviously peaked my curiosity at some point in time.

Well, with another thread blasting stamping profiles because members say they are here to get to know people, it's obvious they just want to make friends.

I add ppl to my friends list, if I find them interesting or something about them catches my eye. I do try and talk to them, sometimes I just don't want to be a bother. I don't mind talking to anyone.

Some People Just Want To Move Up On The Top But Most People Want To Add You To Be Your Friend.

there are people who have added me to their friends list that i have no clue who they are and have never sent me so much as a bite from them.

these people i usually send a polite message asking who they are and why they added me.

i am on a firends list for one account that turned out to be a duplicate and is suspended until infinity.

i dont add people unless i intend to talk to them and i always let them know i have added them and ask if that is ok.

i just wish others would do the same. it does get rather irritating

i do think it to be weird that random ppl leave comments about hey please add me! i don't think it's that important to be on 200 peoples friends lists. if i do add a person it is because i liked something about that person and i told them. not just rated and asked them to add me. i do talk to my friends daily.

This is going to sound blatently bitchy....

It's the whole LOVE ME LOVE ME LOVE ME LOVE ME LOVE ME LOVE ME thing. "I love them, and they love me, and I love them for lovin' me and they love me for lovin' them, and that's because none of us got enough love in our childhoods." I mean, it's nice that people are being open and friendly and all, but really, what's the point of being on someone's friends list if you never speak to them?

Wouldn't know I don't have many friends and aren't on many friends lists either... I usually talk to someone awhile before adding them

Seems to like I'm saying this alot...so here I go again...I've added ALL my house mates to my friend's list because the more friend's lists that you are on...your ranking will increase...if you are in a House this means that the House ranking will increase as well...someone correct me if I'm wrong but this is a way to contribute to your House's ranking...maybe only the competitive, such as myself, will see the brilliance in this.

I talk first. Then add. Others should at least do the same.

my opinion.. popularity contest..

I'm in the Top 3 actually and I didn't even know until one of my friends told me...but mainly I just try to reach tou to people like me or people I can help.

I am on 74 friends lists. I have about 20 on mine. Some people will add you for little or no reason. I only add people who I have an interest in speaking to.

I use a stamp for most "new" profiles. It says roughly something like...blah blah...if I can help you with anything please let me know. I remember when I joined this site; I knew NOTHING about html; I wanted a better profile but I couldn't do it alone...and so I relied on people like Batchyld and Yendor to answer my questions and guide me. This is why I put that msg. on my stamp. I think people add me as friends for that very same reason; it is a quick reference for help, rather than sifting through 5000 people and trying to figure out who to ask for what...I can't apologize for it, and I won't. Anyone who responds to me for help I answer. Always. If I don't know the answer I direct them where they can get it. Those people who add me but never talk to me I just view as a compliment. It says to me that I connected with them in some way that they want to remember. I do not view it as immature. If a person adds me as a friend, I am honored; I don't require them to ask permission. To me, that seems silly. I am here to meet like minded people. If I connect to someone, I am grateful. Friendship in any form, deep/passing/acquaintence...etc. is a gift. I personally believe that connections with others should be cherished gifts; I don't care how different someone is from me. I always learn, I always grow, I am always better from having known another.

LaMuerte
is right on this one I think I only add ppl I talk to or interact with in some way I'm just not a big fan of friend whoring ..... nothing against those who are friend whores ...... tho if i thing about it if you got offended by the term friend whore you must be one so maybe i did mean to offend just by using that term..........or I could just be trying to make my post on the subject seem deeper by rambling on and saying friend whore alot ... you decide

Friend WhoreLOL maybe wiht all the friends i have I should adopt that as a new title for myself....

Some people are just like that...Annoying...Heh.
I'll delete anyone on my list that i have only really talked to once or twice and never again.

If I talk to the person and enjoy they're company them I'll add them... And I'll make sure to tell them that I've added them too.

i want to add my honesty with this one.. I only have a small amount of people on mine.. and these are individuals i have high respect for. I will talk to anyone.. i dont ask to be added to anyones list, and i wont ad them just because they request me to. Prove to me what type of a brain you have and what you are about and then i will add you if i feel a bond. And I do talk to those i have added on mine.

Is it PMT week? Judge the world week? Im interested to know why these things bother everyone so much..What does it matter to anyone why someone wants a big friends list. Hell i have a huge one, I added all my house mates mostly because i feel i should at least attempt to get to know them and some i added because i felt like it , some i added becausei amde a post in the mascara box asking to be added...Did i hurt anyone of you complainers by doing this?

I very much doubt it. Stop trying to control how people think and act it wont help anyone and it wont help VR in the long run.

This site is about learning more about our vampyric nature, passing on what knowledge we have..isnt it? Be it oh i read a good book and adding it to the database, or i have this idea im going to write an article on it or even making an origional thread. People like MRD make some wonderful informative threads that make you think. Just like anywhere else you are going to get your idiots and just like anywhere else you have to accept not everyone is going to think like you.

I hope these threads complaining about everyone else get deleted and moved off the boards its starting to get that you only see these threads and nothing of interest.

YOu bang on about supporting Cancer, i say your ass licking, if you really want to help contribute something else than a whine read a good book and recomend it or write an article or recomend your nearest Goth club...Contribute...look the word up its a facinating concept.

DarkBlade if you are meaning to offend ppl by using the term friend whore then that would fall under context of "Flaming" which is not allowed in this forum. :)

I agree in part that people are doing it to get to the top 3 with the most friends ..it's human nature or animal nature to be competitive ..Not all animals or humans are competitive,but a good many are..I just suck it up and deal with it and move on and don't let it hinder me one bit.

I gotta say I totally agree with Sevenn's statements..I am an acolyte still even with me being a dominar..I get tons of people asking me questions and I don't mind it.Those people are greatful for the help and add me to their friends list in case they need help at another point in time.I don't ask them to do it,most times they do it on their own and a good many will tell me that they added me to friends.

There are people who look at my page and don't rate or comment,but do add me to friends and i've not once talked to them, but I have rated and commented them.Guess something in my comment or stamp made them feel the need to come visit my profile and read and then add me based on what they saw or read.

I just wish they would speak up once in awhile or something.lol I do ask in my profile description if people add me to let me know,but I suppose not everyone who comes on my profile really reads it.Some do,some don't you'll have that hehe.

Most of the time I will ask to add someone as friend, it is only common sense. But I have use the friends list as a book mark, so I can go back to the profile that interested me.
As for all this interest in some of VR features, I don't see or believe that anyone is trying to control anyone.
It is merely open to discussion. AS it should be.
It will die down, I'm sure.

Philontour, I added you to my friends list.
Creepy, eh?
Just making sure I don't lose you when I figure out how to rock at coding and whatnot.
Oh yes. I'm so cool.
So, gonna add me back? Or do I have to go all noobish and speak in 1337? -grin-

Personaly i add everyone from my coven and then people i find interesting in VR

Some want their names to be shown in the Top 3 List,simple.

me personaly i try to talk to everbody that is on my friends list provided they are online if not i will leave them a message

i agree, those people only want to get in the top 3 ranking and decorate themselves with artificial popularity

There is an actual top 3 list for friends????

Heh to the lameness

idk if I add someone to my friends list I talk to them, but thats just me,

Why hello there coven sister ;)

lordvampirio
Sire (28)
God damn it i want to be popular!!!!
Be my friend...:grins cheekilY

they just wanna be seen, i only add real friends or people i respect

i see it as this .. i have people add me so if they ever wanna talk to me they can. and i add people if they say they add me too cause i talk with all of the people on my friends list....

heh jtandmoongoddess are on my friendslist as they have been deemed by me as cool

well, some people want to have friends...and maybe some are just lonely...me, I'm just bored

Well I personally do it because I'm stationed overseas and I would like to talk to other people, especially ones that I can understand, about what's going on.

some ppl have no friends outside of the rave cause ppl think their weird and dont want to talk to them cause they think they might be too cold of a person

honestly, if you know you have interests in common and the adding(to your list) is mutual, so be it. I personally dont want to add people that wont talk to me, or even say hi every so often. I do agree with 20Lisa05, there are people I want to talk to and check back on to see how they are doing.

i think for some, it gives them a bit of a boost to see that they have so many people on their friends list. it makes them feel as though they truly have that many friends, that they are well lked, ect.
it brings up their self esteem even if it isnt entirly true.
just dont let something so trival bother you.
so people have you on their list that you dont talk to...is it hurting you in any way? nope...so just shrug and move on!

I'm on 68 lists. I chat with 2, 3, maybe four individuals on a steady basis.

Well, I think some people do want to have the MOST friends on here. But at the same time, my standpoint is that I look at people's profiles and if they have pics or certain things I like, I will add them and hope they add me too. Also, if they have a journal and they are interesting I will also add them...

i gues they just want to see if they can get more friends that someboady else or somehting lame like that!

I'd never know but possibly theres some that want just for attention instead of knowing the person more better. Either know'em or not, simple as is. I add friends that if I'm interested of wanting to know better.

i actually only add ppl that i inted to contact in the future, maybe being memebers of the house i belong or even friends, thus my list is not extened much

i don't like it when people had you to their friends list and they don't tell you. I only ad friends to keep in contact with them.

I only have added the people who are on here and Who I know in real life or have been nice to me on here and actually talk to me O-o Weeee.....

Some people do it because they want to remember you, and be able to speak to you again. Others think that you have enough in common to become good friends; sometimes it doesn't work out though and you just have an extra name on a list.

Only add those you want added, If you don't want them on your list, clearly don't add them.

I add people to my list if I am interested in there views and etc. I don't add you if I don't like plan and simple.-CITN S.S.

hehe *snickers* ... like I said I did not mean to offend with the comment it is up to the reader to take offense or not *shrugs* ...... sides I think the jist of this is for those that ask you to add them and then do nothing about it

I am on 34 friends list and I have 20 or so on mine... I added people i talk to on a regular basis to my friends list..

I am personally tired of people adding me to their friends list who dont ask me and have NEVER even said as much as a hello to me... WHY add me if you never speak to me??? I dont get that at all..

:)) good point. i have only 7 persons in my friends list. but i still cant find the point of it.. i mean u can see them when they are online at 'who's online'...same about stalking...

They are simply lonely. That's all. As for myself, if someone wants to add me to thier friend's list, fine. If not, fine. However, if they are doing it just to be annoying, then I would simply say: "Block 'em". Or if they intend on messing around with your profile (as has happened recently with one certain individual) just report it to an adminstrator or even Cancer himself and it will get taken care of quickly.

im on loads of friends lists but i dont know who most of them are they never ask if they can add me they just do it lol i talk to a fair few of the people on my friends list and i do try and talk to all of them

Yeah, most of mine are either gone or otherwise inaccessable. I tend to miss them sometimes... Anyway! *shakes head to get rid of the feeling*

I have only 5 people on my friends list, I have been asked by some to add them as well. But I only add people that have talked to me longer than just letting me know they rated me

My friends list contains those of my coven and those I have got to know here and like...If you aint on it then get to know me

What if they were to only say hi, mearhinas
That's what I get, then nothing ever again

I handle my friends list, like I handle my msn nicklist. If they talk they stay on it, everone who didnt talk for more then 3 weeks, gets deleted. Why else would it be called friends list if it wasnt supposed to be a list of friends and people you dont talk to cant be friends ;)

If they dont talk to you after the initial meeting use the delete option....Or spend some time trying to talk to them before adding...If they dont show some sort of responce in trying to get to know you then dont add them...

Either way you will soon learn if they actualy want to talk to you and get to know you or are just being friendly to begin with to get your rating.

No matter how it turns out in the end, you have tried to offer the olive branch, let them show if they are going to take the gift of friendship you put forward to them.

kats suggestion also works but I am less friendly on that front...If a person does not respond to me when i know they are online after the secone attempt of trying they are gone

I'm not one to chase after others just to be my friend...I would talk to them, but not constantly bother them...

No one is asking you to...If you see them online say hi f they respond fine if not what are you losing in saying hi.

I really don't understand why anyone would get upset at being added to another's friend's list. I view it as a compliment, even if the person never contacts me.

It dont bother me either way, but if I have someone on my list and they dont talk to me, then i dont see the point of them being there..

Its much like if I get to know someone on the Alternative scene where I live and they only ever want to talk to me when I am out on the scene after a while i just end up thinking ok...You want to talk to me if you see me in a club but not other places...I tend to begin to think why bother and sooner or later i begin to ignore them even when clubbing.

I prefer to spend my time with people who actualy want to know me full time not part time.

*shrugs* I add the people whom I feel like I can actually talk to. The people whom I don't speak with in over a month get taken off my list, unless I've known them for a long time.

If someone takes offense, or insists, I'll simply block them if they don't heed to my warnings.

I use a gif for welcome and say "add me ........" but in my list I've 34 ppl, and message with all...I don't add nobody who message sometimes, ofthen or reply the message who arrive..
excuse me my bad english..

If some one wants you on their friends list they better want to talk or share something, people who just add you for the sake of having names on their friends list are just, to put it plain, they're pittyful and stupid...!

Hey you guys...... that's harsh!!! Maybe some people are just lonely, and feel isolated!!! I personally would like being isolated but hey, I'm not wrapped too tight anyway...LOL

That is your opinion, Death, but there is no need to call people "pitiful" and "stupid" over something like a friend's list.

Yeah "somebody" needs a group hug or something.....Geesh!!LOL.....

I only add who I wanted added to my friends list. I think that these people who do it to everybody is just doing to to make Top 3.

i think its ok if the people who want you to add them stays in touch or else its not worth the time to add them

I don't know, but I think the friend's list is if you like the profile or porfolio, you add this person on your frend's list and you going to look them any time.

Yes it says so in my stamp "feel free to add me to your friends" because I mean that. I'm open to anyone who feels they want to get to know me better.

If I add someone it is because I liked something about their profile, way of speaking, etc. I always ask first. With quite a few of them I have messaged back and forth a while before adding them, and some just caught my eye and got me interested in them.

I don't always feel that 'click' with everyone I add, so I may chat with some more than with others. But that doesn't mean I don't like them or don't feel like seeing their profile again, so I keep them on my list so I can see when they're on :)
And who knows in time that click might still be there lateron.

Also.. I'm pretty shy when I don't know someone.. and I'm not the bravest person on the planet when it comes to writing the first message.. :S

And I agree with Siobhan btw, it IS a compliment when someone adds you to their list, because apparently they think positively about you if they do.

Who knows maybe they're shy or very busy? It's unfair to call them pityful etc, while in fact they've complimented you. :)

Yes!You are reason. It's a compliment!I like your think.

gotta love list whores...to alot...it is nothing but a contest...sad to say...I'm not big on it personally and when it comes to friends....I rather have actual friends on my list than hordes of them who you never really talk to

I have 21 on my friends list and I am on 21 friends lists...Seems that those on my list are those I speak with fairly often...

my thought is this.... if someone says fee; free to add me to Your friends list and i find something interesting about them thats what i will do but if it says that and i dont want to add them i wont but i think that people put it there just letting everyone know that they are open to talking to everyone which is nice

Hmm i think most of the time people add them intending to talk to them but dont get around to doing it .

Agreed with both those two last posts..

There could be like a thousand reasons of why they haven't talked to you yet after adding you.. it doesn't mean they are friend whores lol (not saying that none of them are.. but meh.. I'm just not a very judging person I guess)

Even though I'm new to VR, I have to agree. It seems more like a popularity contest than anything. If you want to be on someones list, take the time to message them and get to know each other. Friends are what we are here for. Not The Top.

I add friends because I find them interesting and would like to better know them at some point, because at times when rating and viewing profiles , you find common interests to discuss and share. I have people who have added me and I dunno who they are, eventually I will get curious and say hello. It's fun to have that option, and bottom line I think its a useful feature :P

I agree with Desire18..... It's o.k. if they stay in touch, but don't abuse it.... we should be more concerned with getting to know ones like us anyway than being in some silly points race!!!

i have about 5 people on my list and 124 have add me and they never even say a word to me its stupid

I have 6 on mine as well as being on 6 lists and I know who they are and we talk a lot on and off VR..... I wouldn't care if it stays like that forever... All six of them are pretty damn cool!!!!

I have 1 on mine and I'm on 1. The first person I really talked to here, we messaged back and forth a little then asked each other. That to me is having an interest in being friends.

i have 5 people on my list but i am on 17. while thats not really a big deal i would like to point out that one of the people who has me on their list posted in this thread that they talk to every one on their list and yet i have never talked to this person.

why say or do what you dont mean is what i want to know?

I've noticed that myself. It's one thing to say "if you want to know more about me just ask!", but that's not *forcing* anyone who is reading your profile to add you to their friend list...

Sekment I like your attitude your the type of person who is not from my Coven who I would like to have on my friends list

Thats why he is on my friends list mearhinas :) he is just way cool to talk to and a good listener :)

I only have people on my friends list if I am asked not the other way tc

I don't have a slew of friends but in all honesty
I am on
25 friend lists and about 5 asked me...I have a friend list and I have only about 6 or so...
I like some journals and portfolios...and may be considering some for my list...but
find it funky to not ask first.

I add people to my friends list whom I find interesting. There is a quality about them that caught my eye, and I would like further contact with them.

I don't care how many friends I have. I have never even counted them! I just like to talk to people.

I talk to people who have interesting profiles or who have the same interests as myself, when people email me or bite me i'll do the same back to them but i wont add someone to my list for no reason!

i think that you should only add people whom you've talked to and intend to keep on talking to to your friends list. I mean, there's really no point in adding them otherwise.

They do it because it is the only way they can ever hope to make the top list.

Once again, the popularity contest. It seems like some of us are forgetting the point of this site, to create the world's largest vampire database and to meet others like us. This is not about who can reach the Top. I think if you want friends on your list, become friends. Don't do it to reach a goal that is not as important as why we are all here. Again this is just my opinion and I could be wrong. I would rather have a friend that I can talk to, than one that I can use to reach a higher rank.

I didnt even realise there was a top list till i saw this thread

I definately agree with the idea of adding people you actually chat with,.. not just every one you ever see.

i guess i am not that intresting cause i only have 5 friends...blah....i'll have to work on my profile.....

i m about to get rid of some ppl on my list.

i find it quite pathetic really. if a person is leaving a comment for the first time, and just says feel free to add me to your friend list. sure you may do so, but then you send a message to talk one day when they are online, and you never get a response.

i think some people are doing it just because they wish to be on the most peoples friends list.

Thank you. However, pathetic wasn't quite the word I was thinking, but it fits. I tend to feel like I'm in grade school again.
Boy says, "your my friend, your my friend, and your my friend."
Everyone else says, "who are you?"
Come on. Let's at least talk to each other if we are to be friends.

Thank you. However, pathetic wasn't quite the word I was thinking, but it fits. I tend to feel like I'm in grade school again.
Boy says, "your my friend, your my friend, and your my friend."
Everyone else says, "who are you?"
Come on. Let's at least talk to each other if we are to be friends.

Sorry didn't mean to post twice. My comp is acting funny.
But I will add something else. the key word is FRIENDS. It's not an Anybody List. Nor a Random Person List.

You should simply ask for permission because some people work hard on there journals portfolios and profile nobody has the right to steal somone elses friendship just to increase there ranking.

I an on 271 friends list and maybe 35 asked if they could add me.

i dont think its stealing friendship love, especially if you never talk..
its just a way to make one feel special about themselves

yeah i agree lol but thats why i only have 41 people and i talk to everyone of them not consistant but yeah you get me

...i just dont like that box telling me that i have no friends...
...stupid know-it-all box...

I message everyone on my list but I only have like 5 people on mine. I think it just must feel good to see that everyone is your friend even if you don’t talk to them ever.

Well contrary to my other posts, lostinlife has changed my mind a little. It is that persons business to choose how they handle their friends list. We should not criticize others for their actions. If they want to reach the Top, then fine. I will just say that I think it would be nice for someone to ask me first, rather than use me to make it to the Top. But if thats all they want then fine. I can't stop them.

I think most people want top raiting and some just fine it childish what ever works

This thread has been automatically closed for length.