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I was looking to post some internet safety information, considering my Coven is searching out to protect and guide the youngsters. I created this and posted it in my coven but I was urged by Sevenn to post it here to find out what people thought and if they had any suggestions. This is what I created:



In this day and age of internet, the young lords and ladies are more technically savvy than their parents usually. Having cell phones, Myspace profiles and messenger services. Able to log onto chat rooms and talk with kids around the world is exciting. Logging onto websites is no different.

You have a community here of people from all walks of life. The gruesome and morbid often appeal to teenagers but they can also appeal to those that prey on innocents. I am not saying that everyone on the internet is suspect….I am saying that some of the nicest people you can meet, can turn around and use the trust you have in them to hurt you. So this is a list of internet safety tips for being online.

• First and foremost, have an open relationship with your parents or a trusted adult. Someone that you can trust, talk to and reveal your worries too. That way you have someone to talk to about anything that makes you uncomfortable.

• Do not believe everything you see and read online. Even the person you talk to could be lying about their age, sex, or anything. Realize that on the internet, it is very easy to lie.

• As part of the online suggestions, Never give anyone your password. No staff members of this site are going to ask you for your password. I know from experience that giving out your password to someone, to help spice up your profile is a gamble. If you do give it out, make sure you change it once the person is done. Cancer will not do anything if you give your password out and someone screws up your account. Most people that do profiles, can do it without going into your account, unless you don’t know how to cut and paste. So, do not share your password with anyone on this site or any other. There truly is no reason to share it.

• I know that information is asked but if you look on any website they only ask for your city and state and your age or birth date. But don’t get more specific on your profile. Don’t state your full real name, actual address, the school you go to, or any other personal information about yourself. I am appalled at the number of times, I have gone to an account and a young girl has put her cell number on her profile. That is just asking for trouble. Those that prey on young people, get this information and can come to your home or school. Better to protect yourself.

• If someone on ANY site messages you with something that makes you uncomfortable, such as with an inappropriate picture or message, save the message, tell the person that you are uncomfortable and block them. Then send that message to a trusted adult, such as a Administrator. The only way that the internet can become a safe haven is if they are aware of those that make sites seem threatening.

• A lot of the profiles on sites show different types of lifestyles and fetishes. If you have questions, ask a trusted adult.

• If you choose to meet someone from the internet, make sure you take some precautions. Always meet in public, like a restaurant. If you can’t meet the person with a friend with you, always make sure that someone knows who, where and when you are meeting the person. Make sure you check in with that person during the meet and keep them updated if you change location.

• Last but not least, always trust your gut instinct. If you are uncomfortable, scared or just not sure of the situation, get out of it. Log off, block the person, tell an adult.


So, have I covered it all or do you have any other suggestions of dangers I might have missed??

I think you did an excellent job!

This is excellent information and not just for the younger members but the older members might want to take it as a reminder that they too can become prey, don't make it easy for them to find you.

Very well done. I think you said it all in your list

That is a great informational subject that I think every web site needs to have. There are a lot of predetors out there and since we cannot truly regulate kids online, the best we can do is try to caution them.

Very commendable Chordewa.

Good thread here. I dont come to the general forums much...but this is something a lot of people here in this community should learn from...

Keep up the good work.

Nicely done, Chordewa.

Excellently worded and to the point. great job!

This may seem obvious.. but people do not want to list their physical adress of where they live or work either.

Sounds too much like you are giving legal advice. Vampire Rave is an Adult site. It is the responsibility of the child's parent or guardian to monitor the minor and not the VR members themselves. You will open yourself to legal matters if you do. I know you mean well but, you can not be giving this kind of advice out. It would look like it came from the administration and therefore OK to follow. If anything should happen because you left out a warning or a minor followed your advice because they trusted you, this could be a major problem. Best to just keep the safety and monitoring to those responsible. ~ billy

For clarity, one does not give permission to a minor to meet anyone they met on-line in public - ever! There is no "if you dos." This is not safe. As for the other info, this is covered in the VR manual.

This is a good thread..but Billy did have a point..do not include VR on any of this since we are not liable...however I have changed the wording and excluded VR's name from it...

I want everyone to read this for their own safety...but know Vampire Rave is not responsible. Make your own choices. Be smart. Be safe.



Thank you.

People can also use your basic location to fins out more from you ie;

Hey i live in England too where abouts are you?

Don't tell them specifics or known landmarks make it a broad area, this is a well known ploy by predators on the net.

And always remember that not all is as it seems on the net, predators act as though they are teenagers and have good knowledge of what younger people are into, music etc;

Also if you are being hassled on most, if not all sites there is a block option, use it!

And for parents there are available website trackers so you can monitor what sites your child has been on!

Chordewa,
I respect and admire that you seek to create a safehaven for young people; not only that but that you would seek to spread that message to a site the allows members 13 years and older.

I know that you offer suggestions only, but I think the message is an admirable one.

Chordewa, as a future parent... I am happy to know that despite all the bad, there are good people like yourself out there willing to share important information like this with younger people. You are truly an inspiration.

i agree chordewa. i think dont let anyone to take advantage of that .

great job

Great job and excellent suggestions, CHORDEWA

Thank you for taking the time to post that..

I also posted in my journal back in April about something needed to be done to protect the "vamplings". I personally have had to block 3 people, because of the things they wrote me. I don't see why kids would be any safer here than elsewhere, but we should at least give it a try. What the hell, right? You aren't doing anything important.

Your information is excellent and thorough. My only question is would a young lord or lady actually listen to it and heed the advice.

Love your idea!! Many of us do not know what can be used against them.

Well done, despite the negitive feedback,parents cant be everywhere,all the time,and it doesnt hurt to have others watching,Bravo

When in doubt ask is always good advise, and responsible adults on the site will often refer younger members to speak with a real time person about any issues that happen on line.

It is common sense, and while in the Manual we all know how often teens like to read manuals.

Thanks for the reminder to think about this so that we are able, even with this being an adult site, to have people of several generations here.

very good as a father I worrie about what my kids are reading or who they are talking to thats why I take the time to "check up" on there pc time

As already stated, this is really good.

Thanks!

I think you did an excellent job!

I must add, that parents should follow that, as well--including never give out your children's names. Too often, I've seen parents volunteer their children's names, sometimes their full names.

Its great advice.

And in previous threads along the same subjects of minors on VR and other sites.. I stated and will state again..

As a parent of a child on *THIS* site I will continue to monitor what my child does and the information she gives out.

That is all awesome advice! I made sure to listen to the advice... I was talking to this guy for 2 yrs on msn and aparently I didn't know him as well as I thought! He turned out to be a rascist biggot who was homophobic and started sent me pics on msn of vaginas! Good thing he was in Lebanon and I dont have to worry he is following me

It sounds like good advice to me..good job on it!...

That was a wonderful idea on your part, to be looking out for the younger generation on this site. I agree with your advice.

I agree with you on that one HellsGuardian69
I try to be there when I can to watch out for them but as you say it is not possible to be there all the time all I can do is give them advice and hope they pay attention when I am not around :(

The Internet is never safe anymore, i have a six year old child and i monitor everything she does, its just not safe for anyone, anyone can pretend they are ten and in all relaity they are what 40. Teach your children different ways not to get mixed up in dangerous situations.

very well put. I agree and have given my password, but i changed it immediately after the person was done.

excellent my sister, Billy what you said is true BUT! we as a community should look out for our young as they did back in the days. and helping the younglings to see what can happen to them can protect them from harm. and as HG said mom and dad can't be there all the time. so in my eyes it is up to others as well to keep the younglings safe!

Billy that is too often ignored. I have been scoffed at by suggesting to parents to know their kid's passwords, so they can help with these issues when they arise.

Not that they aren't trust worthy, but those that are talking to their children might not be.

It can happen to even adults, and that is important to remember. In many ways none of us are "safe" online.

Wow well, I think you did an awesome job on that :-)

You did a great job on it

Thereen quite alot of fuss concerning myspace and sexual preditors..so this was a great idea.!

excellent

well said. i would also like to point out that our genre does tend to attract masters and doms - people who wish to totally dominate and subjugate others, and many of those will seek out those who are vulnerable. a sympathetic ear can easily turn into a commanding tongue. i know it's not the purpose or duty of this site to morally judge people, but it does seem hypocritical to have a nipple ban on one hand, yet turn a blind eye to some of the more disturbing aspects of vampire / goth sub-genres. personally i would like to see an age limit of 18 on this site - though it's hard to implement, i know.

I think this was a great idea CHORDEWA.

I also agree with HellsGuardian69... for the fact that children can be sneaky at times, especially when going against what their parents say. And it's not always possible for the parents to monitor things 100%.
But it is a responsibility for parents to monitor as much as possible.


And speaking as a parent I can both agree and disagree with BILLY'S posts.
I think there is a difference between pride and arrogance. I have my children's pics posted on this site, and even in my portfolio, not out of arrogance, thank you, but pride. I have made it a point to not state their full names, nor our full names to anyone. And regardless of pictures as a "catalog" (and knowing the extent that parents aren't always safe either) There are points that people such as these "predators" need to be aware of the type of people and families they are going after. More precisely, maybe some people in the families are even more dangerous in certain ways than these predators are. I guess it all just depends on the situation.

I think its all been covered but, as the others have said, its really not up to the site to protect any members.

The best advice has to be to remember that there is no urgency for any online community. You can simply not reply and take time to really think about what's happening, take advice and chat to other about it and (while you're thinking) delete nothing.

I do see that there is a trend started to have 'joke' admin badges under people's avantars, its a good giggle, but for the safety side maybe you can alert younger members who are the people that you can genuinely approach with real problems.

I don't have any suggestions, I think you've pretty much covered it all. Great job.

=]

I like Karn's idea of over 18's, I think thats a great idea. Although it wouldn't be fair to the younger members that have been here for some time.

I think you were right on the money, and yes, we over tweens need to keep those rules in mind as much as the kids do- anybody can fall prey to someone who isn't telling the truth on the net- and it happens more often than not.
I think you and your coven are doing a fabulous job, taking such care with the younger members- job well done, Chordie

very well put ~thats great

there's a perfect and simple answer to all of this. dont meet up with people over the internet unless somebody you personally know knows them. and dont give people your exact location unless you're ready for them to show up at your door

Very well put and well said about the internet safety rules

Very well written I think you hit most everything I can think of. WAY TO GO!

thank you for the advice....I know many people apreciate it

Chordewa you did an exellent job in doing this thread and looking out for the younger members of this site, and the admin bring up very good points as well..

but what about those ppl that do prey on the youngsters on this site and send sexualy harrasing messages to them, yes i know we can block them but they will continue do it to someone else on this site if there not stoped in there tracks...

but shouldnt something be done about them on VR...
just my thoughts and my ranting i guess... chordewa you know i love oyu as a friend and again exellent work....

talking about that there is a online community im in for internet frauds i joined after some idiot thought he could trick me by giving me a virtual 25 million dollars cuz someone dies and he picked me... lol... so i joined it and posted his email and his letter... it included that he was an exec in a bank the bank of africa lol... how stupid am i to fall for that lol...

I think this is an excellent set of advice.

I have seen several younger folks with too much personal information in their profiles and I always message them with a friendly warning about the dangers. I don't think these warnings and advice can be covered too much.

CHORDEWA this is an excelent post you wouldnt believe how many cases ive seen of people being exploited through the internet (yes im a cop) thankyou for this post i hope people take time to read it and realise how vulnerable themselves and there children can be

i believe you covered everything in ur list .. very good idea

great job my mistress :)

what an excellent post! brava! i know other peoples kinder cruise much wider and faster than josh on the internet..they might not listen to their parents , but they may take you/this seriously.

5/15/07
INTERNET SAFETY, THE MOST IMPORTANT SUBJECT I CAN TALK ABOUT. IF YOU CAN, FORGET WHAT YOU READ ABOVE OR BELOW, THIS IS A PART OF THE REAL ME EVEN YOU CAN'T HAVE PROBLEMS WITH. IF YOU DO, DON'T FUCKING READ ANY FURTHER. THERE ARE TO MANY PREDITORS EVERYWHERE. IT, TO BE POLITE, IRKS THE HELL OUT OF ME TO SEE CHILDRENS PICTURES IN PROFILES ANYWHERE. FINE, YOU'RE PROUND OF YOUR KIDS. SHOW THEM OFF IN PERSON, PICTURES TO A LIVE PERSON, PRIVATE E-MAILS, BUT, NOT ON PUBLIC PROFILES. IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN ON YOUR PUBLIC PROFILE, SHOW YOU CARE AND TAKE YOUR CHILDS PIC OFF! OF COURSE I'M GOING TO PUT ONE OF MY TAG LINES HERE...PEOPLE AREN'T THAT SMART. THIS MAY INSULT SOME OF MY FRIENDS, BUT, I'D RATHER LOSE YOU AS A FRIEND THAN SEE YOU LOSE YOUR KIDS, SO I'LL SAY GOODBYE NOW IN CASE YOU TAKE ME OFF YOUR FRIENDS LIST.

WOW. This is a great post. Thank you for sharing this with us all. I think it is a good idea to make it known to the younster and older generation how dangerous it can actually be on the Internet. It may be cool to be on here, but there are a lot of wierdos that will take advantage of unsuspecting minds, be it old or young. Bravo!!

great job

ShadowxAngel,

Cancer takes a very strong view on people who are seriously out to break the law (as opposed to getting some sorta sick fun out of winding people up). It's quite clear that, if it is necessary ...

If it is thought that you have broken local, state, federal, or international law, all applicable evidence and personal information associated with your membership will be forwarded to the appropriate authorities.

the ultimate responsibilty is with the parents. not the website ..

i agree that internet safety is important, but sometimes the measures impossed can be stupid.

my school blocks nearly everything on the internet! this site is banned! i have to use a proxy to get on here

Chordewa, I'm sure your heart was in the right place while writing this but it's a responsibility of the parents. Nonetheless, I respect you for trying.

There are a lot of predators on the net, but there are even more in real life so I don't really see the difference between the two.

Most of the suggestions that are given here are the same as what most of us do in real life.
Bottom line: Personal safety comes first and don't believe everything you see just as you don't in your everyday life.

i think it's an excellent reminder for all, young and old.

It is an excellent idea.....there are a to many people out there who prey on the young infact not just the young those of use who consider ourselves wise to the way's of the world can equally fall prey.

Very well put. Excellent leadership display :)

Excellent and comprehensive advice.

i think that is the best thing i have seen posted, i a friend of mine got a lot of negative attion because they wrote about how this same thing im gklade people are reading this

Very nice work thanks for you continued efforts to help others.

OUTSTANDING, we do have a lot of predators out there. They do not care about a lot of things, they just want. So hopefully someone will pass on what you have written, good job.

Very well written. Seems pretty cut-and-dry, and looks to me like you covered everything.

Thanks Chordy..

Sometimes we need a kick in the pants to remind us to be safe, and I think that might do the job. :)

It seems a number of people totally understand what Chordewa is trying to do here, and her efforts are to be applauded, but lets make something perfectly clear: These suggestions are meant for members of her coven, and as coven master she can suggest people follow ANY set of guidelines or suggestions so long as they are in compliance with VR rules.

These are SUGGESTIONS and should in no way be thought to replace or ADD to the VR Manual or the terms of service of this site as already construed. In addition, it is the responsibility of anyone who uses the internet to learn to protect themselves. If a child is too young to do that for themselves, a parent should be present to help.

VR is not a babysitting service.

Sometimes it seems like it, with how people act, Sevenn.

*swings from trees*

No arguments from this corner, Fyre ♥

My 13 year old, who loves this site does follow those rules although I would never give her permission to meet anyone that she talks to on here she has been very good about showing me things that people have sent to her and WE have blocked them and she never gives her real name or address. I think the safety rules you have done up are great and it will help the parents of vamplings to keep an eye on these things

Well, some internet nasties are slick. They can know just what to say and when and how to say it to make someone think that bending or breaking one of the guidelines isn't such a bad idea.

The problem with children is parents can't watch them all of the time, and kids can be easily pursuaded with something as simple and slick as "Don't tell your mom, it would be fun and cool to have a little secret between us wouldn't it?"

Sadly, that line also seems to work on members who...shall we say, aren't exactly kids anymore?

Too true.

Sometimes we seem to lose sight of common sense and just act, without thinking.

I have seen that happen on too many occasions to disagree, Fyre.

CHORDEWA most excellent suggestions.. I admire your thougths and your ideas on this.
I have just helped my daughter sign up on here.. Reason is because i like this place and the people i have met and talked to on here are good people. I alos know 2 personally and knwo that my daughter is well watched and she also knows that if she has a problem she can go to certain people on here for help with anything. I monitor my childs activites, but as HellsGuradian posted, we cant be there every second.
No i am not saying i left so and so responsible for her safety.. but she does know who is safe. ANd she is very honest and open with me about everything.
COmmunication is a must between parent and child .. along with a certain amount of trust.

I think this is an awesome and very informative piece of information.....

Thank you.........and yes you have done an excellent job covering things that concern me when my daughter is online....

As many have said, it is the parents responsibility to watch out for their children. I agree with that.

BUT...

In this day and age, there are so many children who live in a single parent household and the parent may not have the time or ability to monitor their child. There are also those parents who just don't care and/or won't take the time to be sure their kids are safe.

So while it's not technically our responsibility to look out for them, as human beings (or vampires), it is up to us, to lend a hand or an ear, if a young person is in need of protection or advice in ways to protect themselves.

This would be akin to one of us watching a crime being committed and not doing anything to help the victim. It might not be our "responsibility" to help, but standing by and watching someone be harmed makes you just as guilty as the person doing the harming (in my eyes).

Who will protect us and look out for us if we can't look out for and protect one another?

awesome it is perfect. you made sure you had all the biggest issues in it and covered the safty of them.

Cool for Cats Chordewa...

femmdraven,

I agree and I am sure that everyone on here would help - I've seen it happen - its just that they shouldn't be set up to be the ones who should help.

Yes artemka, you are correct.

We shouldn't be the ones set up to be doing the protecting, but sometimes there is no alternative.

I thank you for your concern and tips, I will use them as best I can. Again I thank you.

This is great advice for all internet users not just the young. Thank you so much for doing this.

I must admit that on first veiwing this site, before I joined I was a little surprised it wasnt 18+. Although I understand it would be difficult to implement now.

I think the suggestions are excellent though well done.

very well done and a excellent job thanx's

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