Ever wonder why Vampire Rave often lags?
There is a perfectly logical explanation to this very frustrating occurrence -- Cancer cannot keep his monkey-loving hands out of his nerdy pants.
Their lusty looks are irresistible to this monkey-loving-freak. How can he ever practice self control when taunted by the seductively red ass of a baboon? It's much too enticing. Those bubbly lips, robust body, callused hands, and unrefined sexuality just take our resident baldy over the edge. The mere thought sends him into a banana-stroking frenzy. His passion consumes him and the next thing you know, Vampire Rave is severely lagging for hours on end.
Do not fret, animal lovers, he treats all primates with the utmost love and care. So much so, in fact, that it sometimes translates into a more physical expression of his affinity. No, keep the cringes to a minimum -- after all, the man has some morals left.
When Animal Plant is no longer enough to sate his sexual prowess, he is forced to go out into the wild and search for a suitable mate-- primate, that is. All he needs is a romantic candle-lit dinner to subdue his prize softly and slowly. A true gentleman at heart, Cancer is a firm believer in consent.
The next time you experience lag on Vampire Rave, send a little shout out to Cancer and his little hairy friend. After all, who are we to interrupt such a magnetic pairing?
Many thank yous to MooniePie for the exceptional depictions of this animal affair.
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Page last updated: Apr 30 2023
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03:50 Jun 24 2011
I am so afraid for you right now.
03:53 Jun 24 2011
Holy RUN FOR THE HILLS Batman!!!!
03:55 Jun 24 2011
THAT is amazing. He asked for it. :)
03:58 Jun 24 2011
Cancer really shouldn't surprise the monkeys... Look at that poor bastard in bed with him...
I feel it's pain.
04:05 Jun 24 2011
04:06 Jun 24 2011
Oh lord. o___o
Deity, you'll be missed. ♥
04:12 Jun 24 2011
Well Cancer should know, if you are going to pose for these pictures, they WILL end up on the internet.
04:15 Jun 24 2011
04:23 Jun 24 2011
Just when you thought you seen it all on VR
Then here comes one more. LOL
04:44 Jun 24 2011
Hahahah... That's Cancer's special song for his Monkey Lovin'...
04:57 Jun 24 2011
05:09 Jun 24 2011
wow oh shit I can't stop laughing I guess the war is on lol
07:12 Jun 24 2011
This is just too damn funny...kudos!
And yes - the 'war' is on - LMAO!
08:10 Jun 24 2011
08:26 Jun 24 2011
Deity you're TOO MUCH! I love you!
09:21 Jun 24 2011
What the hell is that audio?
10:34 Jun 24 2011
This has to be the best members page. I'm so glad Cancer has a great sense of humor and can get into with us. Goooo Cancer!
10:41 Jun 24 2011
LMAO, Great page.
11:36 Jun 24 2011
LMAO! The audio is so damn funny on top of everything else.
12:10 Jun 24 2011
Cancer- That is your new official "Monkey Lovin' Theme Song".
Other than that, you're going to have to figure the rest out for yourself, LOL!
12:28 Jun 24 2011
Another for his collection?
12:31 Jun 24 2011
Sorry the picture didn't work so I put it in my journal :\
14:12 Jun 24 2011
LMAO!!! This is what I wake up to!!!
16:00 Jun 24 2011
I'm laughing too hard to type coherently. You're awesome!
16:55 Jun 24 2011
After this and all he can say is, "What the hell is that audio?" ... Hahahahahah!
Oh cripes, I am glad I haven't ... encouraged any kind of page mess.
This is funny stuff. :)
17:12 Jun 24 2011
This has to be the best page ever. Hate that song by the way :P
17:52 Jun 24 2011
xD LoL Creepy
21:46 Jun 24 2011
That's MooniePie serenading you with a monkey song. You like?
21:57 Jun 24 2011
Damn... I want to start singing ... "Hey, hey we're the monkees Now"... Sheesh.
22:48 Jun 24 2011
23:31 Jun 24 2011
I was bribed I tell you! Bribed! How could I say no to chicken and watermelon. :(
Deity- You totally suck for saying who sung that song. :P
00:15 Jun 25 2011
Now that is great.
02:22 Jun 25 2011
OMG too funny!!!!
02:43 Jun 25 2011
omg..I love it. I laughed tons.
03:35 Jun 25 2011
ROFL! Holy shit....This was great!
06:12 Jun 25 2011
Well thank god that song is on loop...
06:21 Jun 25 2011
Good Night!!!!! This is going to be an all out war... LMAO I can't wait to see how Cancer retaliates this one.
14:26 Jun 25 2011
02:19 Jun 26 2011
OMG.. roflmfao.... WOW now that took some balls
02:36 Jun 26 2011
ay dios mio. lol
07:09 Jun 26 2011
Now we can see the true genius behind member web pages.
09:47 Jul 04 2011
I was wondering what would be the 'payback' for the boobies story ;) lol
17:10 Jul 13 2011
monkey love yay
21:34 Aug 05 2011
Lol This is awesome XD
09:15 May 22 2012
22:40 Jan 18 2013
07:22 Aug 24 2016
This explains everything.
18:30 Jan 23 2019
Still amazing in 2019.
14:20 Aug 04 2020
22:07 Aug 06 2020
LMAO so funny
03:47 Aug 09 2020
21:49 Feb 05 2021
07:15 Feb 22 2021
BAHAHAHAHA! I had totally forgotten about this until today! I miss some of these people so much! Good times!
15:25 May 31 2023
20:08 Jun 04 2023
is that cancer singing