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Why do you put people on your friend list? I have people add me and never talk to me when I am online..I think common curtesy..if you add someone..atleast talk to them if not..don't waste their time or yours.

I've had people add me to their list and have not spoken to me at all, nor did I know I was being put on their list - so why add someone if you are never going to talk to them?

I'm flattered, but just a wee bit confused.

exactly..why is this done..

i try to talk to just about everyone on my list when they come online. Though sometimes, i'm doing my own thing and don't see them as i'm ripping through the site.

Random people add me - shrugs- I try to talk to most of them but most don't care so it confuses me most of the time lol.

I usually try to talk to the people I've added. Though I do have more people who have added me to theirs, then those I have added to mine. Makes me feel loved. lol

Who knows what people are thinking? =)

Ok I have found many that have added me and I don't have their name a lot of times they have added me because they have found something on my profile or journal or even portfolio that they liked and it reminds them where they found it if this helps to answer that question at all.

I also find it to be nice if they were to ask if not to at least tell me they have done so.

i agree, if i like a profile i need to be reminded, but also i want to talk to every one and if i decide to talk to so and so i dont have to hunt them down to talk to them

Meh, I don't care. I only add ppl that are willing to chat to me. As long as I don't see these ppl on my list and I'm on theirs.. it dosen't matter..Chill. ;)

I don't mind to be added,most probabbly cause they like me,well let it be.

Those that I've added,ususally is cause I've spent some time talking to them,theo nce I added without asking them,I talked to them a lot of time after,cause I wanted to know them more but didn't know how to start the convo.It's not so easy always.

I've found that people add me and either never talk to me or they say hello once and never respond to your reply after that.

Yes i am on 9 friends lists and i've no idea who they are and doesn't that defeat the purpose of being friends? WHO ARE YOU!?!?!?!

I'm don't bother with it, but it doesn't mean I don't have friends and I'm NOT friendly. lol!

well i've some people who added me but never talk... it's not a big deal anyway, i don't even know who they are so it's useless to be bored by that ;)

At least here you have the ability to randomly choose friends, which one cannot do in real life. It would be funny if you would decide that someone you meet on the subway everyday is your friend, but then never talk to them. You would be considered a psycho :-)

I only put people on my friends list I actually talk to. If someone hasnt spoken to me in 2 weeks, i kick them off. if they somewhen talk to me again, i can still put them back on. And for being on other peoples friend list, if they want to add me, i dont care :)

I often use the friends list as a way of easy access to my favorate profiles.

I have lots of friends on my list and I usually try to talk to all of them at least once or twice a week.

Why people who never talk to me add me to theirs is a mystery and likely to remain that way....

"Odd how much it hurts when a friend moves away - and leaves behind only silence." -- Pam Brown

It would make an interesting psychology expirement. I have people that have added me that I have no idea who they are. I can name off everyone I talk to that makes up my friends list.

I know how you feel. I have 18 people on mine and when I see them online, I message them. Well I have noticed that I am on 28 peoples friend list, and I DO NOT talk to 28 people, or close to it.. I wander who they are.

They should tell me or at least talk to me!

People add me all the time, I only have four on my friends list. But I do respond to all messages :)

I have a few people on my friends list that Ive added and only talked to a couple of times. I think as far as I go its more along the lines of time constraints (sp?) I only get so much time online anymore because I have to share with two other people as opposed to when I had my own computer a few months ago.

What's more annoying is people adding you to their lists and not saying they have, cuz you dunno who's lists you're on! I'm on 10 lists and i only know 1 person who's added me! It's frustrating!

For me I dont care if you add me or not. But I add friends to my list if I like there profiles.

I laugh to myself every time someone asks to add me to their friends list, since 9 times out of 10, I'll never speak to them again. I use the list to keep track of people I talk to on a REGULAR basis. I'm on 110 friends lists as of right now. I only have like 20 people on my list, and I still have to go through and delete the ones I haven't spoken to in a long time.

Well that was my point, I add for specific reasons, and generally I like to at least say Hi, or just give them a bite to let them know I know they are there. But to add me w/o my knowledge or even saying hello..I understand something about the profile or port..that catches their eye..But just let me know. I guess I am just being anal..Sorry..

I'm starting to build a graveyard of dead Sires on my list...

Empress
Aleks
MsLeFaye
Sidhe
Vladislavs

Sheesh...Talk about hanging with the wrong crowd... I must be on the dark side...lol

I have actually told a complete stranger theyre my new friend, and I havent seen them before or even since then. lol It fun to see the utterly confused and sometimes frightened looks you get from them XD

I have a total of 3 people on my list. 2 of which told me to add them if I so wish to. and the other being my brother. I dont mind actually having people add me, even if they dont talk to me. I could have evrey person on this site as my 'friend' and I wouldnt care. lol. I lvoe the sopt light what can i say?

lol stab looks like your playing on the wrong side of the fence lol;) and yes also experincing random people adding me but what the hell if they wanna clutter up their friendlist let them!!!

i try to talk to many of my friends

heh... I never add friends unless I know them personally or if they ask first.

I ask permission before adding anyone after I message a couple times matching common grounds...

I don't mind being on friends list as long as they talk to me fro time to time

I only add people that I want to talk to or if they tell me that they have added me to theirs. But anyone that I do not hear from for awhile gets deleted from the list.

Thank you all for your input.

I try desperately to chat with everyone on my friends list, but I usually cannot.
*begins to wail*

-Lord P. Shadowloo

I try to talk to everyone on my list up to the point when they stop responding or I don't see them log on anymore. Since I can ony log on for a few hrs at a time because of work and other responsibilities, it doesn't bother me much. The few that I talk to regularly, I talk to on Yahoo or AIM.

I dont add unless aksed to or I ask to ... doing other wise is a waste time..

i talk to almsot everyone on on my list

maybe it is for a sense of importance or belonging....

I agree...I talk to everyone on my friends list

i am on 42 friends lists. some people have just added me and not even told me they were adding me even though i have it plainly stated on my pro.

well those who i've added were those who were kind enough to help me or took the time to talkk to me. then those who rated me that commented to "feel free to add me to your friends list." when i get that usually there's the comment "let me know if you add me 'effect' ". Those who left that comment when i added them, i infact msged them to let them know i added them. I probably talk to a handful of people who are on my friends list.

There's about 6 or 7 that i know of that I added by either because I talk to the on a regular basis or b/c of the comment they leave by adding them. And i couldn't figure out for the life of me who added me until i was able to view what list i was on for who. And many of them were at levels lower than mine at the time.

now sometimes i don't get a chance to talk to those who i talk to on a normal basis. more than likely they are lurking or may not be on. so i dont message 'em unless need be. once in a while i'll send a msg if it's only a 'hello' message.

I've noticed that there is a category for the people with the most friends, I wonder if that plays a part in people randomly adding people to their friends list.

Ahhh ok..that may explain somethings. I try to atleast if nothing else give them a bite, to let them know I still remember them.

Your personal rating goes up when your added to a freind's list...I don't think there is a category for someone who has the most members on their friend's list.

I am on 17 friends lists and I know only about 4 of those message me. But I do have about 15 on my friends list, and I do need to deleate some I dont talk to anymore.

Priss is right

It is "on the most friends list" So I guess that really has no bearing.

Anyone can put me on their friends list - I don't mind. It is *my* friends list that I pay attention to. Of course, I appreciate being told, but if someone feels that they want to call me a friend - I am honored by that actually.

I try and talk to all of my friends, when i have time.... i'm on 82 friends list, and i only talk to about 35 of them... but feel free to add me to your friends list...

I just consider it friendly stalking. :)

If you are on my friends list then I will try to talk to you at least once every few days! If you've added me to your friends list, you have to message me or you won't be hearing from me!

u have my full agreement!
when im online almost noone messages me....even im on lots and lots of friends list....its ......strange

yeah i agree.. i have loads of people who have added me but never say hi... its common courtesy

because they just want to move up in the top.

i hate this too. i have loads of level ones who just add me to get a higher level. it sucks! occasionally one or two have said hello but then they dont bother replying after that. whats the bloody point?

people can add me if they want just say hi once in a while.

ya that is annoying and rude. if you add someone the least you could do is talk to them...in an effort to calm myself down onl this same issue i talk to everyone who is online. cuz if they add me i add them. only fair and respectful...anywho....that is what i do...not to mention helps with pages...lol

I don't think it is right that "friends" be used to move to the top...that is just my honest opinion as I truly value my friends; I don't wish to use them for any type of gain only learn from them and enjoy their company.

As I said before - it is an honor to have them as friends.

hehe yeah i have people on my list that i dont talk to anymore but it doesnt hurt for you to still have them as friends ^-^

Don't know why people do this maybe to look popular . Its like giving randon tens to profile ratings tc

as i started my carreer in vampirerave as a whelp, i added the ppl whoms profiles i felt in love with. Most of them i contacted, some became very good friends, and one bacame my ... not yet speaking of here..

DUDES!!!!

I am on 69 friends lists!!

Just had to share because that is my FAVORITE number!

lol

69, Dude!!!

people have added me but dont talk to me, people also add me then delete me then add me again, i'm on 12 friends lists but ive only added 7 people i have stated in my profile that people let me know before adding me but they just dont listen, the whole situation is rather frustrating!!

I noticed I am on 29 friends lists. when I started my account I talked to random people who welcomed me and whatnot but I dont know where the rest came from. ~shrugs~ if they want to know when im on thats fine with me Im not really all that interesting lol

im not on many freinds lists, only 1 of them mails me and 4 of them are on my msn out of about 20 its pointless, and 69, great fave number lol

some people have added me and i have no idea who they are because they spoke to me 1 time and then didnt bother and most of the people that added me dont talk anyway...its stoopid.

Well, it's an honour I guess to have ppl want you on their friends list. Flattering even. Come forth all those who have me on their friends list and send me a msg!
I must warn though, I don't always reply because I may be doing things.. But I do try to go back and contact. My apologies to those that may have and gotten nothing. :D Takes a lot for me to warm up to ppl.. but keep trying! :P And to whomever wants to add me without permission.. GO FOR IT! ;) If you want on my friend list..ya gonna have to talk to me baby. :D

yeah i know what you mean... shouldn't the people on your friends list be.. i dunno... your friends?

i try to talk to everyone on my list but sometimes it can be difficult like when they are admins but others add you and message you and you don't know who they are i think it's nice to be told who adds you

If you were told they added you, would it change the fact that you were added? *ponders*

I talk to everyone that is on my friends list, and respond to any messages. It dosent bother me is people add me to their list, but i do prefer to be told.

I'm still trying to figure out who over half of the people who've added me are.

i deleted about 20 or so peeps off my profile...either they got rid of their profile or i don't talk to them as much anymore. i still got a good number of people on the list but i have at least 1 person on it at one time that i actually talk to

I'm not too fussed if someone adds me to their list and never talks to me, the thing is I add people to my list that I actually talk to, even if it's not everyday, as long as it's now and again.

i ask people before adding them i think it just the courtious thing to do ... i ask people to tell me when they add me because i like to know whos list i'm on .... but i just doesn't work but oh well i feel loved anyways.... and i try to talk to everyone on my list but it gets kind of difficult sometimes...

I have people adding me and/or stalking and I dont know who they are even...

I'm in 83 friend list..
I think I talk with 50 or 60 of theme...
Not Everyday... many of my list are on line in different hours... I talk with more American, and I live In Italy...more hours of difference...

;) and I talk too with many VR member what aren't in my friend list...
before add friends I talk for a few day and if it's interesting I add..
:))

See, this is why premium is so good, you get to know who's lists you're on and who's stalking you! Most of the people on my list are fellow house members, on there because of the cards I make. Its easier to send out the links if i've got them on a list. I have no idea who most of the people who've added me are though! But i'm not really bothered, if they wanna talk to me they can, i'm always friendly. I should really start messaging people on my list more, but I never seem to get round to it. Maybe i'll make a custom bite type thing just to say hi now and then....

Damn! Some whelps pushed me over 70 friends - shoot I really liked being 69!!!

Well I seem to get more friends daily - who are these people? lol

I've sent messages to people, and never got an answer. So. psh I just talk with whomever sends me a message.

i added ppl when they askme for do it
i have too meny friends but i talk to them

It doesn't matter to me if people add me to their friends list as long as they let me know and I try my best to talk to all my friends when I'm online

I try to talk to everyone on my list when they are online even though sometimes I don't have a single damm clue to who they are.

I think that It should be commen sence to ask someone if they can put you on thier friends list, i mean its like putting candy in your pocket and then walking out of the store with out paying...

my friend list has gone up for 12 friends to 15 friends in the past half hour and no ones let me know theyve added me,

lol...I get what your saying. It's just like a messenger...people add you and then it's like you wasted your time talking to them. I talk...or I should say at least "try" to talk to everyone on my friends list.

I have a few people on my friends list that I actually talk to, the others I added b/c they said they had added me, but you know it's weird b/c I never see them on and they never send me messages.

I've got three on y list, all said to add them so i did and when they are on line i try to say hi.

I add friends to my list based on people I know, people that I find that might be local to my area (because I run two real time havens) and I add a person when I am invited to do so by them, out of courtesy.

i add people and i tell them but most of the time no baody talks to me but a few , man im lonely :( ....j/k

odd name ~friends list~ yet to look at this thread it may be better named ~silent persons list~ lol

I add people if I like there profiles, if they have messaged me for some reason, and if I play 5x5x5 with them (so I can see if they are there to play again in the future) and sometimes just cuz they're hot....lol

I just use it to get quickly to my favourite accounts :).

Maybe an extra option would be wise? such as favourite accounts, this way, the friends system is more sincere.

Guilty! Actually, when I add people, I do make a point of introducing myself and letting them who I am and why I wanted to add them to my friend list, and then actually chat with them.

Lately, my job has been a little bit of a hassle so the only person I actually made time for has been my wife. My bad (smiles).

I promise to be more attentive in the near future. :)

Regards,

Michael

have no trouble with my friend list.. dont know.. its not important to be on most friends list.. what is important is the real friendship. ı really have a few.. and eneugh.

I appreciate all your thoughts and opinions. I just think I wanted ppl to me more conscious as to who they add, why they add. We all are ppl on the other end of someones list. I add and do try to talk or say Hi atleast. The ones I have added are because of their interests similiar to mine, or we hit it off etc. I enjoy all the ppl on my list and would like to talk to them more frequently. I do realize however real life takes priority. I wouldn't expect anything less. So thank you everyone for your look at this thread. I hope it does bring some awareness.

I have some on my friends list I don't regularly talk to but would love to.....but sometimes when I get online I have a couple or more people pm me first and I hate having a lot of conversations going at one time or I get headaches...so one of these days I am going to "try" and talk to some of the others as well.

Yes you are right :)

*wonders why this topic gets rehashed so much*

it used to bug me, for the most part i just ignore it now, i find that a lot of people add me for no reason (it would appear) then after a couple months they remove me again.

the only time i have ever really let it bug me is the last time this topic came up a member said that they talk to every member on their friends list daily, but that same member had ME on their list and i have never once talked to the person, lol.

i just try to worry about my own list and let others do what they want.

to make a correction to something someone else said in this thread though, there is no top list for having the most friends on your list, only for being on the most lists, so i cant see as where that would be a reason

I absolutley agree with you. It is very much pointless to add someone just to say oh i have this many friends. But you never actually talk to them I hate it when people do that.

Well i have 113 friends on my list and yes i do talk to them once in awhile. So what if they want to be on your friends list. Does it really matter anyways. I say No im flattered to have friends.

I talk to you Phoenix..sniffles..I try to all my coven friend..if I haven't I do apologize..I will make up for it..

I think they jsut add you because they looked at your profile and thought you were cool. And I also think that maybe they don't talk to you because it can be difficult to start a conversation. I think I did that when I first entered this site. Because I hadn't been here long I wanted to talk to people but kinda kept a low profile.(I don't know why but thats how it is for me every time I join some kind of cool site.) And then there is always the doubt that someone you think is so cool could just be a jackass or just not want to talk back to you. That would not have been a good way to start on the site.(I don't care about that anymore but I remember the feeling, so I don't always blame people.) I am also on friends lists and the person has never talked to me once. But i'm okay with it.

Hmm, if two more random people add me to their list, I will be at 69. Awesome. I sorrow for your loss, MinaMurray.

I have added all my housemates to my friend list and a select few from other hoses/covens I also have half my house on my stalking list as well

I have several people on my friend list, but when I am online they are not so it makes it difficult to talk to them.

I talk to most of the people on my friends list because i only have a few

i try to stay in contact with all on my friends list.. i mean that's why i put them on their in the 1st place...:)

I agree with everyone why put someone on your list and not at least say Hi to them.I have put ppl on my list and I was on theirs and they dont even say Hi to me anymore and I cant figure out why.

yeah I have been asked only by about a fifth of the people who have put me on, I don't pay attention anymore.
its not something i really pay mind to,

it's really quite simple i add people i want to talk to,if u don't plan on talking to someone don't add them,i think ppl just try and see how many ppl they can get on their fl list,i have 34 and i'm on 18,i try to talk to them all but sometimes it's hard ,i get busy talking to ppl ,and doing projects of my own,at least i try!!

i think alot of people do it just so they know when you are online

....which certainly makes sense.

I think this thread has proved the point that many people just want to be know, are looking for others like themselves, or just want to stalk people without being on the stalking list. ;)

Thread closed.