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Hello,

I was just wondering how long it takes some of you to trust people.......like me it takes me about 3 years just to trust a friend.....but a loved one, say like a lover, bf my mom dad etc.....takes along time, i mean if they stab you in the back its alot wrose........thanks

I don't think I've ever really trusted anyone. I do put a certain level of trust in certain people, and once it's lost, it's gone for ever.

Screw me once, shame on you.
Screw me twice, shame on me.

it takes me about 3 years to trust some1
like u really
hmmmm weird
but if the stabed me in the bak
i donno if i cud ever trust them again
including family

I trust someone as soon as I feel that I can, there isn't really an amount of time I could give. Some people trustworthy, and some just aren't, I trust until you give me a reason not to.

Trust is earned, not given. The time doesn't matter to me so much as actions. Prove to me that I can trust you and I will, piss me off or stab me in the back and risk losing an arm, so to speak.

well it just also matters what they did and why.... and well if its bad enough....
it takes years....... i have a friend..... and it took me over 5 years to trust her some what....and i mean some what... but unforately i trust no one..... but once in a great while..... depending...... i take a fly at it...

that was supposed to be *some people are*

it just depends on who it is.... but i just have been hurt too many times....intill
trust comes hard to me....

Instincts can be misleading. I've been burned by people I've trusted based on them before.

theres no set time limit for my being about to trust someone. i trust people when i dont have to keep an eye on them when theyre around me, and when we dont have to say anything to eachother to know what the other is thinking

i dont believe in such a word as trust ppl make it seem powerful its not cause how easy is it broken anyway i believe in my choices if my choice is i can confide in you i do but dont get mushy i confide in noone but myself cause then only i let me down if you slip by and i do and you let me down my bad choice or decision but you will live with my paybacks so i choose to give faith to noone (nothing personal just my view)but yeah trust is a word as far as it goes no meaning

I guess I'm fairly nieve...I find myself trusting people based on my instincts. I also like to pay attention to how my cat reacts to a person...animals are great judgess of charcter.

"trust" is too general..

in a very general sense...i trust just about everyone i deal with daily to not deliberately kill me. for all my jokes and paranoia..if i didn't have that minimal level of trust..i would never leave home.

in a more specific sense...at work / school..i trust that most people are probably not sadistic pathological liars... while they may not always be right, i trust that they are (in general) not going to mis-instruct me in order to screw me over for no apparent reason.

now..in terms of the way i think the question was meant...

i'll tell personal shit to my friends..but there are only 3 that i trust to not use it to hurt me. with everyone else that i know, i feel that i'm taking a risk, sometimes i'll lie to protect myself. with the three people that i do trust like that...it's taken years...more than half of my life in fact, to gain that. and in two of the three cases...i think that the level of trust comes more from the fact that we live a continent apart and really dont know any of the same people...so it would be a challenge for them to really burn me.

so...in a general sense, i think i'm very trusting.

but when it comes to personal shit..i'm paranoid as hell and it takes about 10 years for me to even just stop assuming that you're going to rip me apart if i reveal any vulnerability..

and in terms of trusting a lover to be faithful, good, not fuck shit up...so far i have never really experienced that. i can trust someone enough to have a good time with them...but so far i havent gotten to trust anyone enough to think that they couldnt break my heart any moment.

I give people a small level of trust at first. then as i get to know them better my trust either goes up or down. i only have about 3 people in my life that i can say that i actually trust. even though i wouldnt say that i trust them completly with some of my information. so i guess for me it takes over 3 years to put all my trust in someone. but maybe thats because i have a few very dark secrets...

I never trust anyone fully and completly. Hell, I don't even trust myself half the time!

lol...
you know...that's a great point.
i sure as hell dont trust me to not ruin everything everywhere i go...
so i probably shouldnt count on ever really trusting anyone else to not do that..
the love of my life will just have to accept that i am a paranoid dipshit and love me for it :-P

true ... true,.... oh so true...

If I've only just met someone, I'll try as much as possible to give them the benefit of the doubt, even with rather notorious people (although I'll be a little guarded). Even if somebody managed to break my trust in them, I'll let them make amends, because I've failed people close to me. I can never entirely trust someone, because actions taken or things said under duress have little bearing on my opinion of someone (not true all the time, I'd like to add), and things can be repaired most of the time. There are a few people I can trust with my life, and even though they probably don't know it, there are people who can trust me with theirs. Warning though, when it comes to acid rumours I can be a bit of a gossip, not because I enjoy hurting people, but because they often have almost no weight on the truth. (and sometimes they're just TOO fun, if petty)

The only person I trust is me. I have never in my life trusted someone completely.

Looks I'm not alone then... that's good.

I don't think I have ever really trusted someone... not with anything important anyway... You can say you trust someone and think that they're gonna do something to mess it up, but I haven't met anyone who hasn't... Even me

'bout the only thing I really trust is my gut. then I trust ppl till they give me a reason not too.

Trust.... where to start? Hmm.... well, first of all, I used to trust all my friends, just because they were...well...friendly. lol. Over the years I've learned you can't do that. I don't trust any of my friends to a full extent anymore. I've analyzed them over the years, and I think I know what's best to trust each one with, and what's best not to. For a loved one... It's not really a matter of time...more like a matter of their actions, and whether they can keep their promises, and prove to me by what they do day to day that they have the best intentions for me. That's how it works for me.

That's quite a healthy approach

Heh .. I'trust anyone until they ask something of me . Something like money or a free favor (web design not included) . Doesn't stop me from stabbing them in the back and it doesn't make them my friends ...

The only person I trust totally and completly is me and my sister. I've never totally trusted anyone else...It's kinda sad actually.

When i give, i give everything i have,but when do i start really trusting somebody?It depends on the person, it is usually a long period, i have been stabbed in the back a while ago, and whit those ppl things will never be the way they were... Just once you can hurt me, after that i wont get revenge...life will punish you!
It appears to be that way...everyone that has caused me paine got to deal with something that is much worse than that i would do if i wanted revenge...
Goes around,comes around...

When you meet someone, it is not their fault that you've been hurt before them. Why deny someone trust when they've never done anything to have anything less than 100% of it? EVERYONE's been hurt before. It always seems that the one you trust the least, was the one you should've trusted the most.

You do need to learn how to trust yourself before you can trust someone else.

I give everyone 100% complete human trust, until they take from it. That doesn't mean you need let your guard down, or even be careless with it, but live and learn that everyone is capable of hurting and making mistakes. Sometimes people are just ignorant to knowing they even hurt you. How much does pain hurt you? How fast can you forgive and forget? (Or at least learn and move on..?)

Lack of trust. Wear the Grudge like a crown.

[[[And always remember... Just because someone doesn't love you the way that you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all that they are.]]]

Hmm i think i'll trust someone, when i feel they can be trusted even if it takes a while for me to trust them

news for you all:
u can trust me to be who i say i am -just ask : )
lol

It Takes A Long Time TO Trust anyone....For me it depends on how comfortable i am around them...heh

I trust many people - to a certain, narrow, superficial little point.

There are only a small handful (and I am thinking about the number of digits on one hand, give or take) I trust beyond the afternoon calling parlour of my psyche, and even they don't get very far.

*shrug*

Dysfunctional? Yep. But, functional? Yep.

Donald Sutherland said it best:

I trust everyone, I just don't trust the devil inside of them.

Dear SGS i feel disturbed by what you say i feel it was in jest however its fair to be paranoid i find it an instinct but plz dont say you're a dipshit i find you a bright anf clever person i always say theres a million and 1 ppl out there to run us down lets not do it for them cause if they cant say or do it we must be doin ok then hey (sorry ppl i know its off this subjectwas here and felt i needed to speak up)

Dear SGS i feel disturbed by what you say i feel it was in jest however its fair to be paranoid i find it an instinct but plz dont say you're a dipshit i find you a bright and clever person i always say theres a million and 1 ppl out there to run us down lets not do it for them cause if they cant say or do it we must be doin ok then hey (sorry ppl i know its off this subjectwas here and felt i needed to speak up)

GHawk

*smiles...

I like that one.

Could it be that maybe people don't trust is because they don't trust themselves?

Everything that is done to harm you will depend on how strongly you can take the intensity.

Trust yourself to accept things and you'll never worry about someone hurting you, because it won't affect you!!

id have to say i trust others more then myself...

I personally make the mistake of trusting people right away. It falls out fairly quickly with me being able not to trust the person again. I haven't met someone who hasn`t insulted me directly after the first meeting, so I don't have to wait several years never to trust them again , or offer them any more respect or friedlyness.

For me........

Trust, like respect, must be earned......

Trust can be earned quickly or it can take time to develop trust in a person, but once that trust is earned, I will trust that person with my life, my friendship, and possibly my heart.

But if that person betrays my trust, it will very hard to get it back, if not impossible.

I trust as quickly as my intuition says to...some mere minutes...some never.....
it's a personal thing

You know it depends on the person you have to get to know a person really good I mean if you spend alot of time with them you know if they can be trusted or not... So for me I dont think it would take three years I would have to say a few months

i use to be abole to trust people but i ahve been betrayed so much that it takes longer to get me to trust someone.

There is no time to trust someone.
You can't be 100% sure of a person.

Family members and friends I had for a long time still betrayed me, so it's not a fact of time, but it's more a fact of person...still people can be surprising and hide masks.

I used to trust easily,I don't do it anymore,altough it's seen the opposite,but I still don't trust very much and never show all my true self to anyone.

i will give you some great advice "TRUST NO ONE IN THIS LIFE OR THE NEXT" it has worked for me and try not to get paranoid in the process

i'think i too give a certain level of trust who i trust . it takes so long to be 100%

The time doesnt matter here really, u can trust right away a person if they are gud to u and make u belive they only see through ur eyes and stuff, but then again it can pass a long time till u can trust a person 100% ( if that truly exist), all people tend to betray at a certain time (its just in our nature), so i guess its better to trust only in u and ur familly lets say, but then again u dont have to be a paranoic and shut urself from the whole world... *a life isnt enough to a know a person in his true self* thats what i believe

not very along aless they stab me in the back then about 2 3 years

I either trust you or i don't,
Takes but a second to evaluate.
And either i trust you for life, or i never will.
It's not really a matter of trust..
Like a snake, i can trust it will bite me..
But a matter of perameters.
Keep your friends close and your enemies closer...
Knowing someone for who and what they are, and what they are capable of eliminates the need for trust altogether...
It in itself is a primative concept....

I trust everyone, that's why I carry a loaded 38 with me.

I trust animals, I don't really trust people. Of course I don't get close enough to people to build trust with them. It has been my experience that an animal won't turn on you unless you give them a reason. A human will turn on you as soon as it's in their best interest :(

i do trust some people

i used to trust everyone until they did something to lose my trust.

but now i have learned that some people can not be trusted and that they will easily talk bout u behind ur back the first chance they get, i have learned this from the place i work cause they are all like that there.

if u dont trust anyone,u cant be hurted...

I can give you no exact number as to how long it would take me to trust someone, who honestly can? What I can say is that it would take however long [i]they[i] take to earn it.

I only trust on eperson and it took me a while, like a year or two to really trust her. But, no one else. I think it is better to keep things and secrets to yourself because if you tell someone, you're going to get hurt.

Trust no one I dont trust myself haha

As everyone is probably going to say, it depends on the person and the relationship. Its always a risk, but so is walking out of your front door.

trust is a hard word to comprehend. you can trust someone to give someone a message and you can trust someone enough to tell them about yourself but i think you can never put your full trust into anybody. the person i trust the most is my boyfriend josh and i trust him with my life but i dont fully trust him because in the back of my mind i will always think he could be skrewing me over and i would never know it. and if you can trust someone fully you willl never have to worry about all that good shit.

depends on the situation..if trust is involved and the person follows thru then i know i can trust them...

It really depends, sometimes you want to trust someone very much but your gut instinct steps in and you don't trust them, then there are those people who you trust after not very long of knowing them and they never hurt you.

i think it depends on the situation not the person like some ppl u can trust for something and not others but i think if u r scared to get hurt then ur missing out on alot of fun and love also the co inside and will happen no matter what

I only really trust my sister; she never gave me a reason not to. All of my boyfriends have lied to, cheated on or hit me and it stays with you. You become weary of your sig. other right now and sometimes he gives you a reason not to trust him so it's all worth it.

I don't really trust people. Its a big issue for me. I really would love to trust everyone ... its just that it scares me. I don't like letting people have parts of me and if I trust them then they do. And I don't like being hurt ... who does? So I don't like giving people that kind of power.

Stormie I think you said it best ... "When you meet someone, it is not their fault that you've been hurt before them. Why deny someone trust when they've never done anything to have anything less than 100% of it? EVERYONE's been hurt before. It always seems that the one you trust the least, was the one you should've trusted the most."

Why shouldn't you trust people ... you take them at face value and go from there in much the manner of how YourDarkness describes ... take each person individually, you will not give every person your trust in the same manner each time ... trust in yourself and your instincts ... and go from there

For me, it depends on the person, if a lover is caring and always trustworthy, then my trust for him will come forth soon

But if a friend is late for a hang-out or doesnt call you, or talks behind your back, then their trust has to wait a while longer

sometimes i find myself ignorantly trusting others. i need to stop that cuz it never works. but anywayz, in order for me to fully trust someone it would take me a really long time, i can't say how long though. it depends on the person

Thanks, Dami.

To start at 100% trust. They can either add to it, or take from it.

*smiles*

but for me....and this day and age it is still very hard for me to trush anyone....

Maynard James Keenan said it best.
"Wear the grudge like a crown."



I don't fear what I can control. Pain no longer hurts when you choose for it to become nonexistant. That has always been the basis of my trust. Maybe I've been screwed over so much in my life that now I am numb from pain, and trust within someone is no longer a factor. People are people. Everyone makes mistakes. I forgive and forget, and that makes me one of the most powerful people I know.

I usually NEVER trust anyone. It takes me a long time to trust someone I really love if at all. I just don`t like to trust people because usually in the end you get hurt or something. I used to trust one person very much but then he basically stabbed me in the back so now I don`t think I could ever trust anyone again. It`s just not my nature.

Its hard for me to completely trust someone. For me to trust someone, it will take at least a couple years, and for me to truely completely trust them it would take a lot longer.

Trust has to be earned but so do distrust if you think about it . You trust the people you know on certain levels and you have a level of trust for people you just meet. most people don't totally not trust someone unless thay do something that shows that they cant be trusted in any way. to totally not trust someone is to not want to be in the same room with them alone without watching every single thing they are doing and questing their reasons for it add hate to that and you can't even be in the same room with them. Trust is on the same level as loyality when it's gone it's gone forever. When someone betrays your trust You will never see them the same way ever again.

For me it doesnt take a certain amount of time to trust anyone i think it all depends on how your relationship is with that person....there is probably 2 people that i know that i truly trust with my life and that would be my best friend timmy and my other best friend annie...i love u guys YAY!

I'm always willing to give trust out freely,but if i get screwed over by someone then it'll never happen again.....

TRUST NOONE
everyone is unpredictable u never know what someone may say or do in any given situation,,,,
i kinda trust my dog but not fully,, im sure underneath all that white fluffy fur an big brown eyes there lies homocidal tendancies,,

takes forever...lol

Well it was a time when i was so naive and belive in evrybody but after you are stab behind your back and you get hurt many times you don t trust anybody ...it s difficult for me to answer because most of time i don t trust anybody,even me but sometimes i have strange feelings and i can trust somebody spontanly without knowing him or her is just intuition or i can know somebody for few years and can t trust her or him,depinds of the person i m dealing with i think.

i trust you right off the bat i give you that chance in the begining but its up to you to keep it...

You guys really dig deep into the hearts of people around here. I never thought I could trust but I taught myself. It's a matter of teaching yourself who to look for. You see it in their eyes, honesty i mean. I trust my bf because the instant i searched his eyes for meaning I found it, along with purity, innocence, and honesty. He can't lie to me because it is easy now to detect in his voice and the way he looks at me. Even petty things. So he doesn't try. Honesty is a good policy.
~morgana~
And honesty has everything to do with trust.

trust!
Yeah right

NEVER again!

I am a softy my trust is fairly easily gained... to a point at least... i wouldn't hand the keys to my car over or let just anyone around my daughter but for the most part i am a generaly trusting person

For me, trusting a person is a very difficult thing to do, but I can trust a person without even metting them. Throughout my life, I have found only 4 people who I trust entirely who have never broken that trust. One I knew for a few months, then lost contact with him, but I would trust him with my life. Another I have known for a few months, but have never met. And the last two are my closest female friends who i consider closer than sisters. I do not trust anyone in my family, nor do I trust anyone from my childhood.

MY DOG TRIED TO KILL ME LAST NIGHT
TRUST NO-ONE!

everyones so unreliable but like an idiot i fall 4 it everytime...

trust me on this TRUST NOONE then there is no need to worrie about it

Only you can deside when you can trust someone.
It could take no time it could take a lot of time and sometimes it may never happen.
When you trust someone you will know it.

i beleive trust must be earned and different people take different lengths of time to earn my trust......

My best friend slept with my fiance behind my back (needless to say that relationship ended) but i still trust him with most everything else just not my significant other

Some people told me to follow my instincts and feelings, but how can I be sure that am not wrong?

you can't know if your wrong or right deathnitegrl all you can do is take the chance and learn from your mistakes if your wrong

That's what I do hehe,however tnx for your ans.

i always go with my gut feeling but somtimes it takes me along time 2 TRULEY trust som1
but some i can straight away
weird

I take it one day at a time. I have trusted alot of people and in the end I got screwed over.

i trust my instincts. that's about it.

I never really could trust anyone. I guess its because of being stabbed in the back so very many times. My advice is, Trust only those you love.....

I never give "trust" away lightly, but it's hardly contingent upon the passage of time. I evaluate on a person-by-person basis. Unfortunately, it requires that I do a great deal of observation of the person, but I usually do that anyway so it's not a big burden. However, no matter what, I don't think I ever trust a person wholeheartedly for I always seem to be making contingent plans just in case something goes wrong.

>.

I find it utterly impossible to trust someone. I may feel like there is some length of truth, but the doubts are always there...with everything!

I still don't trust my mother....
A friend of 10 years neither... too many lies dealt to possibly find it a possibility.

sometimes your best friend/lover can be your worst enemy,and you don't even suspect about it...

personal opinion here, Trust is very hard to understand. Someone you love or care about even after many years could become untrustworthy. At the same token, some one you don't think you can trust can turn around one day and show that there is trust there.
I am not saying trust is not there, it just the envoriment we live in; you can never tell when trust is bought off for money or better. I try to trust everyone, but i give them only so many times to screw me over before i say the fudge with this.

i feel that you can tell if a person is trust worthy fairly quick i have friends that from day 2 i Knew i could trust them and so far i have been right

It's real easy to know if you can trust someone or not by how they feel to you. If they aren't that open to you, they are probably hiding something.

It takes almost a life time for me to trust. I always say thougha true friend stabs you in the chest so you can see it comeing

Trust is a very difficult issue... I do not trust anyone fully, for I have been hurt so many times before... If I foundthe person who I knew would love me all my life, no matter what I told them, then they would have my complete trust...

Hmmm, trust.... like others have mentioned, it has to be earned. I know I've been burned pretty badly without stopping to assess each person very carefully. This may take a longer or shorter period of time depending on how closely they keep things hidden.

My advice? Always be wary of coworkers - you never know when they'll find something they dislike severely about you and then proceed to use any information about you public in order to take you down.

Trust is an aspect of life that has to be earned, like so many have said. There are different ways to earn trust and different levels of trust to be earned. It all depends on the person giving the trust and the one receiving the trust. Also, trust means different things to different people so it varies as to what trust really means to someone. I am sure that everyone has had their trust broken in one way or another. It is also hard for someone to give away trust again once they get burned.

It doen't take me long to trust someone, just because I've had people leave me and I don't feel what it's like anymore. I don't care if they stabbed me in the back, I grew a tolerance to it.

Trust is a very touchy subject. I find it easier to let people believe that you trust them and then, just be cautious. I used to be too trusting, but a few bad experiences have conditioned me otherwise. I know who I am and I think that at times, I am the only one I can truly trust. That's surfices me.

don't trust anybody! not even your mothers! trust leads people in trouble

i use to trust easy, but then life fucks you like a damn sheep. it takes much to trust now

I rarely trust people, But sometimes I feel like I have to try to trust them, So I might tell someone a quite personal thing, nothing big, to se what happens. Sometimes It blows up in my face, Sometimes it doesn't So I guess it is like a game, You can't win if you don't take a chance once in a while...

Trust begins when someone is willing to allow someone to take that first step. Closing yourself off to the world because of trust issues isn't a healthy thing. I thought i could trust my own family but how quick did i learn they couldn't be trusted either but you know, we've settle our matters, shook hands and moved on. Forgive but never forget. I trust until i have a reason not to.

*agrees with LadyEslaina

on this world you can't trust anybody....

that not all true, ntr, some you might find you trust

i am a believer in trusting everyone i give my trust out very easaly but if you ever loose my trust it will never been given back lol i can be the woarst bitch around if you ever cross me and the most kind hearted if you don't

I trust myself...I trust I will make mistakes. I trust I will learn from my mistakes and move on. I trust in change. I live for new experiences and I trust I will be moved by events and people. Trusting individuals, well that is a very personalized experience, as its been said, trusting another is based on them earning it. I know people trust me because I am open to be being tested. If someone trust be just cause, I do not trust them.
~Lady~