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What did you go through during your awakening?

At the risk of sounding like an idiot, what exactly is an awakening?

I do believe in this case, Fyrestrike might be asking about the period after being turned

Thank you for clarifying that Stabb.

I some have gone through this with their therian self as well.

i find that i am still going through my awakening. i have noticed that i am more sensitive to light, other peoples emotions, the feel of energy around me, and others like me. i find that my instints are not usualy right . but almost never wrong. i see some things before they happen.
i get migranes if i don't feed on a semi regular basis. dosen't have to be anything fancy just get some energy in me. i notice the inner me is comming out and i finaly understand where i should be and what i am ment to do in this life.

just some of the things that i directly take notice of.

For me, I've been slowly awakening for the past 4-5 years. I am more sensitive to light, the heat of the sun on my skin annoys the hell out of me, and I am more sensitive to sound. Not to mention I'm hungry as hell lol

I went throught my awakening the week of my fourteenth birthday...
back then I studied the supernatural for fun, I even though some of the people to be quacks- talking about awakening and all.
It was in the middle of the winter so I didnt really have to deal with the light sensitivity yet.... but the hunger- it was everywhere, nagging at me like a starved child. I also felt more open to the people around me- I no longer had to guess how they felt....but they started to feel like crap around me.
(poor feeding habbits)
Thats pretty much how it happened.
Now I have realized that the mosh pit is my best friend- I no longer have to find a willing donor. ^^

My awakening was really harsh. When It happened, I was already a year old vampirically. My change to a full vampire was hard enough, since as half I was plagued with bloodlust and anger, sadness and depression. When I turned all that changed was that my bloodlust was now controllable.
When I awoke I lived in Kentucky, the bible belt's finest state. A friend of mine asked me a simple question.....Why don't you go to church? As I answered him, I confessed all, and after a bit I realized that I was cold no longer. I understood, and I had finally awakened. I was horrified. The things I had done before haunted me and I was nearly put in an insane asylum, so tortured I was by them. Then I learned to control it by looking at them analytically and writing them down. I fully recovered at the birth of my first fledgling.

An awakening has more to do with the realization of your place in the greater ENERGY sceme of things. For us, it has to do with being aware of your surrounding energy and past lives. And if you've never heard the terms Priest, Councellor and warrior Castes I wouldn't imagine that you're finding what info you need. Then again, I could be busting out the big secret and not knowing it.

I do agree with stabb you should specify when speaking of an awakening but i will speak of when i awoke to my vampuric side...
i believed my whole life in the supernatural. When i was 13 i started looking into it. and when i was 15 i started coming into my instincts, powers, etc. it was difficult getting used to it and i didnt really have anyone there to help. but after a few months my girlfriend came along and helped me through it. it is still difficult because i still have much to learn but i can handle it now.
-MixedBlood-

Stabb, you have an excellent point.

can anyone truly claim to be awake in this society?

Ha.

Now, when it comes to a vampyric awakening, it totally depends on whether you see this as physical or metaphysical.

I personally adapted a different perspective to energies and chi. I took a deeper point of consideration ont the bosy and it's relationships with the environment.

But then again, I think too much....

I have been different most of my life, as far as I can remember. Just little things that have made me different...but my whole family is different to start with so...who knows. :)

I have not been bitten, or allowed any blood sharing with anyone, so far at least. I think I might be at that stage when you know the alarm clock is gonna go of in 5 minutes, and you will have to get up...but the bed is sooo comfortable. lol

mine was wierd like others i had the sensitivity to light the hunger which really sucks when you cant feed all the time and i slipped into a bad bout of depression because i hate this day in age where we all have to hide who and what we are

10-4 on the alarm clock comment Katarina. I tried to explain that before, in a more humorous way, but my post was removed..

..some people just don't appreciate my humor I guess....

I am still going through my awakening, but I have noticed that every once in a while, I will have a sharp pain that courses through my body, mind you, the pain does not course through my whole entire body at times, but through a few limbs, the sensitivity to light, except I almost welcome the heat on my skin. Being cold is not quite a lovely thing. I can hear things that are not within close range to me, hearing them from a distance, seeing things others around me cannot see.

I awakened in the 10th grade, but did not fully accept what I was until about a year ago. I feel I still have much to learn about my condition, but in my short period of acceptance I have learned a few tricks of the trade, such as sunglasses as a constant accessory to the sun's glare.

I have no knowledge of anything, but I felt compelled to post. All my life I have been searching for something; I am not sure of what. I know that being on this site is helping to find what I want to find (if that makes any sense at all).

Ever since I can remember I have been obsessed with the supernatural and anything having to do with vampires.

I feel strangly drawn to them, as if I am being pulled. But I have never found one face to face. Only those on this site I have found.

In reply to the awakening; I am being awakend little by little, although not in a vampuric sense. More like my inner powers are becoming active, however slowly.

I might not be a vampire (yet), but I sure as hell am looking.

Like many others, I am still going through mine, slowly realizing what I am, and knowing that I can no longer run from it

I think that in our lives we ALL have awakenings. I am not who/where I wish to be; what I thought I wanted, is not me; there are parts that do not fit in; this or that belief system has changed me…. Etc.

What you are talking about is a shift in perception. There are many ways this occurs for some it is like an awakening, for other it is a realization of what they knew to be true before but did not want to admit.

I think a better question would be, when did you stop/start lying to yourself about who and what you are?

Life is just a series of awakenings. I awoke the first time as a young child of twelve, and began to reject the pap that society was pouring down my throat. I awoke to other truths about myself in my junior year of high school, stopped trying to figure out who I was. About six months ago, I began to understand what I was. And just a few nights ago, I awoke to what I want to be. If I ever stop having experiences like this, then I know that I've failed to learn from life. Each awakening can be painful or pleasurable, but they are all necessary to be ourselves, as big as we can be.

I think Liebe has a point...

There are those who simply deni what they are...as others who try to be what they arent...

From the stories I have heard I guess I am one of a few very lucky people. My family and those around me recognized me for what I was when I was quite young and helped me deal with it. I have no memories of not being a vampire ( yeah I know I do not bother with the different spelling) So I di dnot have the troubles I hear so much about. And for that I am very lucky and grateful.

im afriad i m still slumbering waiting to be awakened

My awakening was somewhat surprising. I had no idea what was happening. I did'nt have a childhood. It was taken from me. I guess thats why I kind of believe in the whole theory about trauma causing one to awaken. Although, I did'nt know anything about the awakening process, I knew I was different from those around me. The sunlight didnt just irritate me, it was almost too painful to stand. I could hear things that others couldnt. I could see details so clearly, the world delightedme. Those around me thought I was crazy, if they could have only seen what I saw. Of course that was a long time ago, over the years I learned to adjust. But I have to say that those first years following my awakening were the most precious.

Wow, so may points made already I agree with...

As far as being aware that I was different, I knew since childhood on a fef diff. levels. As far as my family goes, on both sides, the Craft runs in the veins, as does being Kin, and all the stuff that comes with it- foresight, death premonitions, ability to speak to the dead, and much more..as a small child, I saw things, heard things, knew when people were going to die...sheesh, several of my family members actually came to me anywhere from 1 day to 1 minutes before death. That stuff never bothered me. When I turned 13 my dad took me to dinner on my birthday to try to 'explain' the gifts..I told him "duh dad, where ya been?"

My vamp self was also also somewhat accessible in early childhood. Blood lust was common for me as early as 4th-5th grade. I also had dreamtime companions who were vamp. Now at about 13, same time as the witch-part of me, they all kinda came crashing on fullforce. Btw, there was also this previous point where past life regressions and memories came into view- starting with a wild trip in the Egypt wing of the Met in NYC (gods how I scared my mom that day).

...and that wasn't the point fo puberty, that was 11.

I was in a local mall stalking about behind my mom at xmas- looking for someone. I had been recently contemplating that I knew I was searching, in need, and lonely, and wanting 'others' to meet. That day I met my first fellow vamp- he helped me with my first sang feed, and whew, what an eye opening explosion that was. From that point on, my teen years were filled with meetings and the 'metaphysical mind blowing' encounters with other vamps...all in various ways, and each one i remember to this day ( all details)...the cool thing about those is that many of them were interwoven by past lives, or people knowing people or this or that person, yet none of them knew each other (yeah sounds wierd, if it's confusing, ask me for details).

this was all back in the late 80's
jesus i'm old

my therian side was late 90's- dreams about past lives with wolf and cat backgrounds.

I agree fully that our lives are one big set of cycles, like the native way of thinking a big wheel..each in parts yet all one. To this day, who knows, I may not be done, and I look forward to new realizations.

In between 17-20 though, I blocked alot of myself, my true being....I was heavy into drugs, aka denial, and man was I one messed up kid. The amount of build-up in not feeding, not growing the RIGHT way, and I mean the wrong way was thinking that by taking drugs I would 'open my mind'...and learn more...well I might have, but how much did i forget, what stupid shite did I do...and then in taking those things, how many times did I slam the real door of awareness shut in my own face...I recently feel like as a result, I may have damaged myself more than I realized when it comes to my 'gifts', and that's the one thing i would change.

I am glad I have survived and grown and I love who I am now, minus my weight issues ;) grr

i have been going through my awakening for quiet some years now. my senses grow high at night. my hunger for blood is less then those young ones.

added point- after my first sang feed, my senses exploded- sight, hearing, sunlight issues, and thirst- I could've drank an ocean!!!!

and to this day people still get mad at me when I hear convos I'm not supposed to from across the room, or remember stuff that i can use against someone when they said it in passing , miss memory, but i lose my glassed on the top of my head, go figure.

In retrospect, my awakening was much more brutal than the average bystander could likely conceive, considering my age at the time it began. However, this was neccessary to shape me into the person I am today. Incidentally, the events I refer to were not an awakening due to a vampiric nature or entity, although to an extent, it could be misconstrued as such.

when I first realized I was half lycan...I had always had a vague sense of knowing but once I was told by a priestess I felt complete...and I felt like a much better person...and you're the one I have to thank for helping me learn to control the thirst and the changing

Not sure I needed one.

It appears many people have had harder times then others. Some just know and some grow into it.

awakening is a calling and an understanding of thing that you never relizaed was there right in front of you. becoming a vampire can be considered a rebirth of sort. if have an Q's let me know

I came to a realization that day and ever since I've been up all night, drawing energy at will and other things that before I 'came into myself' I would have thought myself losing it lol

I've always had a sensitivity to light & things like that! Always known things about myself! When I was only 3 or 4 I was telling my grandmother about my past life, & yes I was very detailled, things I shouldn't have even known or understood at that age! I've always been awake & aware of this! The thing that I have always questioned about myself was how I knew & why didn't I not know & then suddenly realize like everyone else. I embrassed it for a while, I still do in some ways! Most of the time though I try to fool everyone including myself into believeing I'm normal!

An unexplicable sensation that told me that i was once again alive and forever embraced and committed to this life. of course, that was after extreme sickness and death. LOL

I am not a vampire so I have not had the awakening that you speak of.

I have come to a crossroad in my life where the path I should follow was suddenly made clear and the choices that need to be made also were made clear to me. granted all of the choices wasn't to my liking but it was very clear where I was supposed to go.

that is the closest I think as a human I can get.

My awakening was quite hard, I would prefer not to talk about it..

i went through mine at age 7 and by age 16 i had seen so many things i wish not to discuss.

Maybe what he meant by awakening is the realizatioin of certain things. like self realization.

i know i was just merely stating when my happened.

shakes and the feeling of unmetionable power

at the time of going thru 2 seperate awakenings for both Vampiric and Lycan,they were in conflict at first but all has evened out,the benifits far outweigh the the negitives

My awakening started off instantly but then grew gradually. There really any words that I can describe it. It was like I was alive for the very first time. I wanted to scream out at the world I am here. My senses seemed to explode. I wanted to touch, taste and experience everything. There was a rush in it.

my awakening did not come overnight as movies show.....i find myself becoming more nocturnal which hassles my job...i find my eyes being more sensitive to bright lights and objects...my reflexes have become quicker...all over lengths of time....

Umm...I have always been aware that I was different then most people, but only really became aware that I'm a vampire a few years ago. I was doing some research on vampires for a project and as I started reading about others like me, it just sort of dawned on me. I can't say that it was hard or difficult or anything...it was more like just going "Oh, so that's why...".

I don't believe that I've awaken yet. I guess latent would be best way to call myself. Because of fear of what is to come.

Looking back on my awakening the first word that always comes to mind is 'traumatic.' I'd always been different but as I became aware of just how 'strange' I was I found it very diffivult to accept myself. Even today I still have issues over that matter. Attending a 'normal' school full of 'normal' people was one of the worst experiences because no one understood what I was going through, not that they tried. Thankfully, since then, I have found others like me, both here and out in the real world, and that has helped more than anything else.

Everyone's response to this is very interesting, I guess you can never know what to expect, right?
What if you don't WANT to wake? Will you anyway or do you just fight it?

I am replying as a human of course because I obviously have never been "turned" into a vampire (although I welcome the day!)...my awekening is simply a bettering of myself, becoming more the person I am, being more confident in that person. Throughout life I had always been made to feel so out of place that I was always trying to fit in where I didnt want to be or belong which isolated me more. So now with each day I am alive, I am still awakening into the person I always was and never allowed myself to be....it is hard and scary and exhilarating and I wouldnt be anywhere else in life than here.

as odd as this may sound.. I never went thru an awakening. I always knew what I was. And I was lucky enough to have family around me that was open minded enough to help me deal with things as they came up. Puberity was a fun time lol. But I was spared the sudden slam od awakening and in a way I feel cheated.. and in a very large way I am grateful lol

I myself feel as if im going through my awakening right now. From reading what others have posted of their experiences. I have a bad sensitivity to light, and I have been having little pains recently ranging from bad stomach aches to headaches and feeling like I am about to faint. I havent fed in a couple days and its starting to get to me and hurts. As well as I am having depression lately and am beginning to better understand who I am and what I am here for.

In my awakening I saw alot of what will happen in the future stuff. Like I saw my grandpa dying. Eternal darkness in the sky stuff. Some of it was positive. ~NFA

In my profile i state "I am just me, I am who i am" I have always been diffrent from others but never really talked about it with anyone... I have one side of me that plays one role and a whole other side of me that most people around me have no Clue about... I felt so exstaic and at homewhen i found VR... I know i have always been aware of somewhat of an awakening but just recently as i have become older i am now much more aware and realize thingts in myself that are part of me and will always be... I think i will continue my awakening always because everyday is diffrent... I continue to Learn, Do and Controll diffrent things in my Life... Does this make sense? Wicked Kisses and Blessed Be, Darla...

Well I would like to start with how I became awakened first and then tell you what I went through to be fully awakened.
It was 1995 and Interview with the Vampire came out in Theatres. I had read all the vampire books by Anne Rice at that time and I was fascinated to find out if the movie would be as good as the book...I went by myself hoping not to get mugged in the small City of Biloxi and watched the movie intently. Now this is not the first vampire movie I have seen....I used to watch Forever Knight and Fright Night when I was a teen...
As I watched the movie the feeding scenes that Tom Cruise had done towards Brad Pitt....penetrated me a bit more than I imagined. It started out as a sharp pain in my sternum(chest bone) to where I couldnt breath and radiated down to my diaphram.....and back up again, the pains got sharper and stronger with every waking moment. It was like I couldnt take it anymore. I looked in the crowd and I saw them through different eyes and wanted to feed myself....Over come by this urge and gritting the chair beside me, I waited til the movie was over and returned home. That night I asked a friend of mine if I could taste their blood and they agreed. After I drank the first drops of blood I thought I was in heaven...the sweet tang of the coppery taste hitting my lips and tongue was amazing. I did this for about 2 weeks and then quit suddenly because I had no where to go and no one to talk to about what I was feeling and why I was doing this until 2000 when I fully awoke with the help of my vampire Mother Ariana, she guided me along through all the aches and pains of adjusting to a new soul/body balance. With me learning to practice Wicca it calmed me and I could get through the hard stages of the awakening. So here I am today injesting the blood of others to keep my soul happy and my wellbeing normalized.

I do believe that some are awakened to their true nature when they are young, but for me this process is happening at mid life and it is both scary and exciting.

well mine happened in my mid 20's the first time, then I suppressed it and let it fully happen at 30.

Okay I will make this short and sweet...what kinds of experiences did you have at your awakening? What did you exactly feel??? Not meaning coming to terms but what made you realise you were awakening as a vampire?

many people still don't know that their awakened or is awakening...people sometimes don't understand what has become of them, or why they changed....i've met people who fear their awakening and some who embrace it head-on

enlightenment




odd enlightenments are bad

even ones 2,4,6 are good they balance you


odd tell you about certain realities of THIS PLANET

yes there might be similar lifeforms on other planets but we will never know

even enlightenments teach the individual to change to the new order

I am at 6 now, but I stopped counting

it is passe

what is the use of knowledge when we continue to destroy ourselves in the lengths of winters and rainy seasons?

Time heals all things that it destroys

but Father Time is the judge of our character, life is too long for us to make use of our awakenings, and no woman will grab your hand if you know too much

so left alone to your own devices, we destroy ourselves
even the girl I am talking to now I have figured out last night she is just one of the ones to give me false hope to stick around

My awakening around Halloween is that this fake planet needs the real to stay around even though the life preservers have no line

I hate being used.

As I stated earlier, the awakening for me was a realization the many of the gifts and desires I felt growng up were Vampiric in nature, and could be developed and understood. I hac=ve scince choose to develop them.

the awakening for me was quit letting my negative thoughts consume me light a diease and stay positive in the light

My awakening, was quiet rough. I was often a very difficult person, and then something happened that did change my life.
It was a series of events that led up to who I am today. High school, was a dangerous time for me. I was exploring the world, "spreading my wings" so to speak. I became involved with a group of people who believed themselves vampires. It wasnt until later that I realized how wrong everything was in that situation and what a true vampire was. Yet because of them I saw the world in a different perspective.

I had many life experiences with this little "family" of theres. I truly awoke for the first time to a world much changed. I could understand things I didn't before, and because of them I became a better person.

To me, that is an awakening. An awakening, is not strictly vampiric, but can be classified on any level, and it is that which makes a person see more clearly, understand something differently, or changes the life perspective of a person.

I first noticed my 'awakening' when I was in college. I realized that what I believed was not making sense, so I did what in computer terms would be a 'fresh-install'. I basically gave up everything I knew and had been told and started over from day-one. I first started out with rules of conduct, which was "I shall not kill" and "Survival of the strongest and most intelligent"... and so on...

Basically, I also removed my religious overtones as I no longer believed in what I had been told and decided to go find out for myself for a change.

Well, it took a year to totally adjust to my new set of beliefs and rules for conduct. I opened my mind to new ideas and did away with the petty feelings of hatred. This took the longest, as trying to get ahold of my aggressiveness and rage required me to understand WHY I did what I do, and then to slowly refrain and restrain myself from doing them. That took about 20 years.

Years later I find myself here, in the place where I want to be, kind to everyone, patient and understanding, and tollerant of others and their varied beliefs.

well if awakening has anything to do with enlightenment, or if I am getting my definitions just stop me now...

there are two triggers to this receiving stage change where it seems you go through life cutting tomatoes with the right side of the knife when all along you held the knife the wrong way.

The two kinds are the holy enlightenment which can take 30 40 50 years, the Buddhist enlightenment

or you can do the self destructive angle that cuts short your life

The first one is the power of love
the second is the power of hate

you have no choice in the matter

Guatama Buddha was the first to achieve enlightenment

Mohammed also 1200 years later

first a sense of endless arousal and then a crazed need for blood and not from steak lol

A strange hunger which turned into a pain. Different feelings. Different changes that didn't appear to me as normal.

the main awakening i have had is realizing that the animals and i are one.. just as they are part of my chain of life, i will (hopefully be allowed to) become one of theirs.. may my body be given back to the lives i have taken...
D

my awakening was more like an understanding then any thing else i had a moment of "truth" where i just knew what i was and what i could do. it was a very emotional time for me with a lot of misunderstanding from ppl around me..

it is amazing with such few words you convey such a great feeling of personal emotion that no one relates to the root of

My awakening on a spiritual level began as a need for knowledge, looking for answers to questions that no one seem to be able to answer... then I got my answer in the dead of the night with a whisper of my name and a shake of my foot... my guides had been waiting for me. Then I found a psychic totally by accident she came up to me and we started talking to me she gave me direction books to read and told me to start looking for stillness in my mind, open myself up and start believing in what I thought was the impossible... so I started hunting for the books she suggested and began meditating, over time I have slowly grown and developed, always in the process of learning more. Some times I lay it all aside and then find that hunger to learn again so I continue, in a big lazy spiral, slowly working towards the centre!

yes I believe there are stages of receptivity

you can't force a stage to happen

you be do and then be

time is what guides us, and we begin to see the world differently.

I do not know how many stages there are.

I think that so many of us, myself included, make things harder than they need be. Once I stopped trying to control or explain everything it came easy and without pain.

Awakening starts when you are born to this earth and never stops till you die.
One of the most wonderful things that was givin to me as i have gotten older is nothing really matters .
Everything thing that is given can be taken.
Everything that is born will die.
everything that is loved can be hated
And in the end all the emotions and tears and yells do nothing.
So i say screw it and have fun and dont worry because its all a waste of time .
Whatever is to be will be even if you dont think its fair.
Awakening is knowing that it isnt about you

combining the last post with what I said before

some of the stages might be

caring and then not caring

being responsible and not being responsible

being a hedonist and then trying to amount to something and give life meaning

on the border of self destruction complete and total suddenly an ambition arises

we need to have this tug of war of stages to see the world differently and then to impact the world with what we find

i think threw mine i went threw a time of extream clearness in my life every thing was starting to make sence y i felt the way i did about things and such

Lots of pain and questioning, I didn't know exactly why this was happening for a while or why I felt the urges that I was feeling

a recent enlightenment or awakening or receiving stage for me was


that the problem of mankind of apathy of people not caring about others, or the dead brain effect or the dead to the world effect, is through abuse on the good brain they had, brains and ideals are stolen, the right brain left

and not enough lefties, 12% in which the right brain controls the emotional wisdom to weather storms, escape the moment and see the big picture instead of being angered easily that your cheesburger to get from the microwave through the drive thru window took an extra minute.

Damaging brains that have patience and turning them into mental patients is not the answer

the only reason why left handedness is evil is because they are of their right minds, and because they have got good brains chemistry it creates all evil in the world.

Would you attack soomeone that was less than you? No, we only attack people up high, as they say the bigger you are the harder you fall. But this game has been going on for far too long, and now the game has switched to trying to keep the apt alive.

APATHY is caused by insecurity, fear and paranoia, that we are less than others.

If you have the brain power to accept other people's power, or even comprehend what some one else says, then you have taken a stab at this heartless world, fought apathy, deuled with your insecurity, and defeated fear..... ..... ..... .....

Re: Awakening experience

My first awakening came to me at the age of 5 when my best friend passed away leaving with me a gift of sight into consciousness. Then again in my early teen years as I experienced post traumatic stress. I believe I am still in the process of awakening. My symptoms vary from energy rushes, an inner force pushing out so much that my body moves, racing heartbeats, intensified sexual desires, extreme hyperactivity or talking as some of you have that know me allready know =) understanding is clear, like Im plugged in to the earth and everyone around me.

My awakening made me more aware of life, and everything I didn't see, know or feel. I have embraced my awakening as a gift. I wouldn't go back to the way I was if I had a choice.

My awakening was to the fact that I am in love with the earth and it's entire beauty. Dark and light, in and out, small and large, the blood flows spiritually and actually in everything. My attraction to the occult was always and constant.

hopefully you find peace.

vampariah your post before the last arent you sayin that awakening is respecting others for being other then ones self? Sounds so simple in a world that thinks it needs more.

A out of body state of mind, as my torso convulsed, i desired with the lust of a thousand demons everything i did not have and was at the same time apethetic to retrive anything. After half an hour, or so, my body became limp as i slumberd for the next 24 hours.

I wouldnt call my experience an "awakening", as it was more of an epiphany.

I just kind of looked around one day and said to myself. "wow, everything really sucks"

Since that day I have been more or less apathetic to everything around me.

Is it pssible to go through and 'awakening' as a human?

I've not really hit on the feelings as much as the process in what I've posted earlier. For me in one respect it remains very hard because I live with and work around many who would not understand me now. As for many of us we do live in the shadows. We must use our gifts to mask who we are.

To make a long story short if possible*grins*My awakener was my love and so it less painful and scarey for me than most.I had a fear of huring him and those around me by not knowing how to feed properly.And was light has always hurt my eyes but since then the sensitivity is worse.My tastes changed, more to the sweet side and I seem to want foods that were spicier or more robust in taste.My dreams were more vivid and my past life regressions, which i always supected came into full bloom over the last few years.My abilities to see and feel energies alot stronger and am able to help others thru their awakening, since my empathic abilities are quite acute.There is more, but those are the high lights*grins* be safe, adieu.

it seems two of the posters said they got more apathetic in their awakening, one slept for 24 hours, and ther found that life pretty much "SUCKS".

What I have found is to make use of the emptiness in life, to fill it up, and stay here and act and be active in making life as real as we want it to be instead of giving up. This is the purpose of evil, as good allows evil to exist for it motivates mankind to achieve great things.

We must not run from life or hide, we must have a curiosity even for the things in life which scare us. My examination into insanity did not bring insanity, but was the thing on the last night of bring the body back was the thing which lept me here. It was some Halloween costume of a mental patient that brought me through the final threshhold.

I really wanted to be at least a little crazy, but I used the energy of the device to make me sane in the end, as it turns out, rather than be turned into a straight jacket wearing person. The costume came with the warning, that if you put on the costume on you are crazy. But because I was curious about something people fear, insanity, it used me right, and has kept me sane, even though you may suspect my admitting to wearing such a costume would suggest otherwise.

The thing that got me through the night before was the energy of betrayal. A best friend who takes me to the bodies in the clubs and always makes plans of where to go and what to do, pretty much stabbed me in the back, and as a good person, I couldn't punch him in the nose, but at a climactic point in the transformation trip, iot basically came down to utilizing angry to get me through another door. I went to his house the next day and I called him Santa. You gave me the best present anyone could ever have given me, your stab in the back actually gave me the energy to bring me to life. I want to thank you man for betraying me. Then I patted him on the back and walked out with a smile and he was shocked, and horrified.

Being curious about things is the opposite of fear, we can embrace madness and somehow stay sane, we can accept the energy of betrayal and use it to motivate us for positive contribution to mankind, which is why God allows evil to exist, and actually controls the evil doers to keep the good people here.

An awakening experience should end the life of old but it should also ring in sa new age of mode of life, and not enter into the darkness of incense filled chambers never able to escape from.

An awakening should be a rebirth. Use the evil energy to focus your life on a higher plane, not a lower one.

Furthermore, and to edit my thoughts instead of telling some good story...


my awakening has lead me to the understanding that life is comprised of idiots, and even my own philosophy that life is the inclusion of others even though sometimes small people band together to exclude people, and that might be a definition of life for them....

but if life is fake because of mediocraty and idiocy, what are we to do? Are we supposed to be frustrated and enraged by it, to want to die, to want to hide our heads in the sand until someone else takes care of the problem? Or are we going to represent?

If you are not part of the solution you are part of the problem.

Be real or get out of the way. There are lives to be lived and we don't need idiots in between us and where we need to go, trying to get there earlier to get a parking spot and making this life of a rat race into a rot race.

All my life, I could tell that I was different. No matter how hard I searched, or what I tried it never went away and I never "fit in." A few years ago, my family had a traumatic experience that we are all trying to forget that made me realize just what was different about me. After that, I was more intune with my own senses as well as how others were feeling around me and being able to know things that I never had done nor did I know anybody that had done them. The worst part of it all was the hunger cravings. They felt like somebody had thrust a broadsword iinto my stomach and left it there. The pains would subside for about a week, even though it felt like a day to me, after I would give in and feed. It took the longest time for me to do so because I was unwilling to acknowledge the fact that I was what I was, but over time, my mind kinda kicked my body into the right gear and all has been as close to well as is possible. (Not to hijack, but) It is rather surprising to see that a lot of the other posts have similar happenings and feelings.

I don't really know when I became one, maybe I always have been and it may have been passed down a generation or 2 because I have very sensitive hearing and I know that my aunt is the same. In fact she can hear dog whistles.

Lots of Confusion. I remember getting a role playing book from my parents and I just started to read the damn thing.

A few nights later I started having some really weird dreams and figured the book contributed to it. So I put the book down for like t hree months, which during that whole time I still had the really weird dreams hinting at something.

Which I didn't really look into, until someone, odd enough, contacted me online about the condition and gave me the web address to the Vampire-Church site.

Even after reading all the information I was still pretty damn confused not to mention in denyal, yet after like six months went by I finally decided that what if it is real.

Not real as some undead curse, but real in a different aspect as I read.

After I began to open myself up, thats when I noticed changes, I saw things, I realized things.

Thats when I understood, there is more to this world then what is at face value, magic does exist still, just not in the form many wish it to be.

That is the start of my looking into the Occult, one, to understand, to, to try and find anything in relations to the living condition.

- Sin

I am still in the midst of my vampiric awakening but it started maybe half a year ago I believe...I think in about April or May....Well I started getting stomach pains and I was graduating in June so when I went to the doctor they diagnosed me with anxiety disorder..honestly I didn't have a very good doctor and she was only out to get my money anyway and was always looking for a quick answer or a quick fix (pills) but off the subject...Well she put me on pills for the "disorder" and the stomach pains did not go away but we're slightly bearable mostly because I was half conscience most of the time...After graduation in the summer I began to get depressed and more and more lazy which was odd for me because I was pretty active...I became more and more weak where I was to the point of being suicidal and was in an outpatient adolescent program...I began cutting myself and the last time maybe two months ago I cut too deep and I began bleeding really badly I put my mouth to my wrist to stop the bleeding and ended up drinking my own blood...almost immediately after the incident I was feeling more energized and active and almost felt normal again...that is when I told my friend who is a sang vampire about this and he suggested that I had been "awakening" during that period and that maybe I was also a sang...I noticed again that after a while I was getting more lethargic and tired in general again...well I cut my arm again but not enough to bleed for a long time and I fed again and it again worked...I know this is not healthy but I have not been able to find any donors and I'm not sure who I would be able to go to for this anyways....my friend who was a sang doesn't live near me so I really have no choice

Sorry it was so long I just thought if you were going to hear it you might as well hear the whole thing...Think whatever you want but all I know is that this is working for me right now and I'm not sure what else to do...

XoxoxoX
Sara

Also sorry for not including this is my other post but about other senses and everything like that...Since my "awakening" and during I have noticed I have better night vision and very much improved hearing...agility I wouldn't say I'm very fast but I have never been very fast at all anyways =] ...but I am able to move with pretty good stealth...Also I am able to read people better when I am near them or hear there voice even I can pretty much pinpoint what their feelings are at the moment and have been able to help people with problems better because I can sort of idk feel I'm not sure how to explain it

XoxoxoX
Sara

I believe that I am still going through what you call a waking or whatever.. I believe we never stop going through a waking or whatever because we are always learning new things about ourselfs... but thats just my point of view on this subject

opps sorry for the misspelled words its late and I'm tired

I have yet to experience the awakening that I believe you are referring to.

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